Blog Posts

“Who doesn’t have a bruise on their head?!”

8/21/2011

News From the North

Our big event this week was driving Lydia to MN State University – Moorhead, helping her unpack and get settled in her dorm before we left her to begin a new exciting stage of her life. As we left Lydia, there was a big smile on her face. Classes will start for her on Monday. It now seems like something is missing in our home. I know you wouldn’t think that going from 9 in the house down to 8 would seem like a big change, but it really is.

On the topic of a big family, Lisa and I were in Trader Joes shopping with the 4 youngest children. A lady looked at Lisa and said, “Wow, you have 4 kids.” Lisa smiled and said, “I actually have 7. These are the four youngest.” The lady just kind of looked at Lisa like she was not normal (which is actually true). I always said that when we had four kids, people would look at us and smile. When we added number 5 we got the “you must be Mormon, Catholic or too dumb to realize that birth control exists” look. Then when we went to 6 and 7, we would often get a frown and a look of “how dare you over-populate the earth”. Well, at least we are over-populating the world with Buckeye fans!

But just think, without a bunch of kids I wouldn’t have near as many stories to tell. Like these:

We are at the table eating and Luke looks down next to Eli and sees a gross mess of something on the floor. He shouts, “Eww, there’s snot on the floor.” Eli says, “No. I went choo (and mimics a sneeze) and all my food came out.”

Isabella is deathly afraid of worms. That makes for good fun when it rains and there are worms all over the driveway. Sophia is super afraid and grossed-out by frogs. In the summer, we have frogs and toads all around our house. Little tree frogs climb on the windows at night. We leave lights on outside our garage. Frogs and toads gather there for an all-night dinner. When we arrive home after dark Sophia jumps out of the car and runs as fast as she can inside to avoid seeing any frogs.

That brings me to this story. Sophia is sitting in the basement watching TV. Eli brings over something and throws it on her. Sophia thinks it is fuzz and picks it off of her and inspects this odd item. At that point she realizes it is a dried, dead frog. She goes berserk, screaming and shouting as she jumps up and runs away. Brothers!

Eli told me he wanted to go to the zoo, but he didn’t want Luke to go. I asked him why and he said cause Luke would throw him in the shark water. Brothers!

Luke and I are lying on the bed. I touch the side of his head and he jerks back and says, “Ow, that’s where my bruise is.” I ask him, “How did you get a bruise on your head?” Luke looks at me like I’m crazy and replies, “Who doesn’t have a bruise on their head?!”

Luke has been obsessed with playing football. This week was his first week of practice and he can’t stop talking about it. He wanted to be a QB. Unfortunately at his age group, no one is allowed to be in the backfield if they are over 80 pounds. Our sturdy Luke is not fat, but weighs in at 90 lbs. He is disappointed. He’ll have to be a lineman this year.

We were eating in Red Robin. We left and got in the car. Eli asks where his drink is, and we have to tell him that we left his drink in the restaurant. He gets upset and expresses his displeasure. As we begin to drive off, one of the kids says, “Thank you for dinner!” The rest of the kids in unison also express their thanks. A short moment of silence, and then Eli says, “Not thank you for bringing my cup.”

Last Sunday we are driving in the car and see a beautiful rainbow. We try to get Eli to see it, but he can’t find it - mainly because he doesn’t know what he is trying to find. Then all of a sudden he sees it and is mesmerized. As he looks at the rainbow his first words were, “Why?” I think that is just the perfect, most innocent question. As we drive along the road, the view of the rainbow would disappear as we went by trees, then it would reappear. After that happened several times, Eli says, “There are a lot of them.” Then after a few more times of the rainbow coming in and out of view he asks, “Is it following us?”

Jake was leaving for the weekend so I text him from work and ask him to do the hand-mowing and trimming before he leaves. He first tries to get me to let him delay this task until he returns on Sunday. I insist. When I arrive home the hand-mowing is complete, but the trimming has not been done. Jake had already left to go up to his friend’s cabin so I text him and ask why he didn’t do the trimming. He then texts back, “The trimmer wouldn’t start!” The next day I go out to mow, and quickly fix the trouble causing the trimmer not to start. I put gas in it.

Jake’s football season started last Monday. He had two-a-days all week, and will again this week. Jake is not fond of football practice. He loves the games, but not practices. Jake will be playing wide receiver this year. A 6’6” target. That should be fun. The first game will be played on Sept 1st. That game is on Thursday, and the remaining games are on the traditional Friday.

Something really exciting happened to Jake recently. Minnesota Preps released the, "Top 50 Minnesota Basketball Prospects - Class of 2013." Jake was listed at #25!

Isabella will begin Driver’s Ed shortly. She is old enough to drive with a Learner’s Permit. This is very, very scary! Seriously – this is scary!

I recently helped organize a charity golf outing and Jerry Burns was in attendance. Jerry Burns coached the MN Vikings, 18 years as their Offensive Coordinator, and 6 years as their head coach. He was also an assistant under Vince Lombardi for 2 years – Green Bay won the Super Bowl both of those years. In college he played 4 years at Michigan, and won 4 Big Ten Championships. Jerry is 84 years old now. I pulled up in a golf cart next to Coach Burns and said, so you played your college days at Michigan. He replied, “Yes I did!” I then said, “Well I’m an Ohio State Buckeye!” He walked over to me and said, “I knew Woody Hays well, and I’ve never been able to say this … but …” He hesitated for effect, pointed his finger at me. Then in a loud gruff voice, says, “You’re a bunch of cheaters!!” He then laughed and then pointed his finger at me again and repeated, “You’re a bunch of cheaters!!” He laughed and laughed. Later at dinner he stood up and spoke to the group. He finished his short speech with this. “I’d like to end by giving you a word of advice about golf.” He hesitated, then in his gruff voice shouted, “Quit!” He was a nice man. It was cool meeting him.

We discovered something awesome – Face Time. It is basically the same as Skype . You can call someone - talk to them and see them at the same time. Yesterday we called Dad and CJ, had a fun conversation … and the best thing … it is free!

Last weekend I’m trimming the shrubs with a gas powered hedge-trimmer. In front of our house we have three arborvitaes that were a bit over-grown. I started cutting away at them. As I did, suddenly I felt a sharp pain on the back of my leg just below my shorts. Something had stung me. I took one hand off the trimmer and started to reach behind my leg. As I did I looked down and realized that I was standing in a swarm of hornets. I dropped the trimmers, and ran. I felt another sting on the side of my head above my ear. I had a ball hat on and took it off and began to use it to get the hornets away from my face. I kept running until I didn’t see any more hornets. Witnesses say I was also yelling as I was running. After the swarm began to subside and we could get closer, we could see a nest bigger than a soccer ball hanging from under the arborvitae. I had cut into the nest with the trimmers. I only got stung twice which was amazing.

Lisa is ready for us to leave to go shopping at the Mall of America and I need to take my shower. As a way to let me know that she would like me to stop typing and start getting ready she just yelled, “What time tomorrow are we going to leave?!” Eli yelled back to her, “45!” I guess I better go.

Love,
JR

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Where Do You Go When You Are Desperate?

8/8/2011

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News From the North

This summer is flying by! You wait all year for Shark Week, it comes and goes … and then you have to wait an entire year before you can watch another 168 straight hours of shark related shows.

2011 AAU basketball has come to an end for Jake and Isabella. It’s been a lot of travel, a lot of time, and a lot of money. Right now we are in the only extended period of time (if 4-weeks is an extended period of time) that our children don’t have weekend activities. We have actually been able to get some yard work completed the last two weekends. Now - I don’t want to get too carried away, so I should say that I’ve paced myself. It also so happens to be my only chance to sit around and do nothing as well. I need to keep a balance in my life. Lisa would say that I should lean a little heavier to the work side.

One task I finished was cutting down a dead tree, and cutting some branches that always got in the way when mowing. I used a chainsaw, and spent about 45 minutes cutting up the trees and branches. Man, am I out of shape! My arms were like noodles when I was done. Today I am sore. Good thing our heat this winter is not dependent upon me cutting wood. We’d be freezing by late November!

Recently Eli was assigned the chore of picking up his toys in my office. After he was finished, I noticed some toys under the sofa. I thought he just missed them, so I drew his attention to those toys. Eli then said, “Oh, you saw’d dat. I was hiding dat from you.” Three years old and he is looking for ways to short-cut work. Oh no, maybe my “balancing act” I just mentioned above is setting the wrong example. A day later I was sitting in my office and Eli came in and pulled several toy cars out from under the credenza and asked, “Did you see dese?”

Lydia will be leaving for college on August 17th. She will be attending Minnesota State University Moorhead. It is located in northwest Minnesota about 3-1/2 hours from our home. It is on the North Dakota border, just across the river from Fargo. Lydia will be majoring in film studies, and hopes to direct films at some point in her life. She is very excited to go off to college and be on her own. It is hard to believe my baby girl is going to college. It seems like just yesterday when we brought our first baby home from the hospital. We pray that Lydia will form relationships with the right friends, and her life will be Christ-centered and focused!

Speaking of Lydia leaving for college … the kids are behaving like vultures, scoping out the things Lydia will be leaving behind and trying to claim it as their own. Her most valuable possession … her room! Lydia was the only child with a bedroom to herself. It appears that as things are shaking out, Luke and Eli will move into Lydia’s room once it is vacated. That will leave Jake and Bella with their own rooms.

Lydia was planning for the items she will need to purchase and take to school. She made a comment about needing money to get ready to leave. Luke jumped in and said, “I need some money to get ready for Lydia to leave!”

We picked Eli up from Sunday School. As a craft in class they had glued a muffin cup to a picture of a river, and then glued a peanut inside the muffin cup to represent the story of baby Moses’ mother putting him in a basket in the river. I asked Eli, “Is this baby Moses?” Eli replied, “No it’s a baby nut.” I think he missed the point of the craft.

Jake jumped on top of me to wrestle and made mention that he was now stronger than me (he is!). I told him, you might be stronger than me, but I know how to wrestle and I’m gonna hurt you real bad. Eli was standing next to us and yelled, “Do it Dad!”

Jake has grown another inch in the last month. He is now at 6’ 5-1/2” tall!

During church yesterday they had a children’s lesson. All the young children went down to the altar, and the teacher began telling a story to the kids. He asked them if they knew what desperate meant. Once that was established he asked them who they went to when they were desperate. Of course the answer was their parents. Then he asked who their parents went to when they were desperate. One kid yelled out, “The bank!”

Eli loves to ride on the tractor when I’m mowing. This weekend we were mowing and riding, and Eli fell fast asleep. As I mowed, Eli’s head was bobbing all over the place. Lisa came out and took Eli inside and placed him on the couch. The kids said at one point he woke up, lifted his head, yelled, “Who did this to me?!” Then he put his head down and fell back asleep. After I was done mowing, I trimmed some shrubs, did a few other things, then came in and sat on the screened-in porch to relax. Eli woke from his nap and came out to the porch. He was bugged. He wanted to know who took him off the tractor, and he wanted to go back out and mow some more.

We had a nice lunch at Culver’s restaurant. When we were done we made our mass exodus (Lisa, me, 6 of the children, and one friend) out of the restaurant and got in the Suburban. I started the vehicle, put it into reverse and started to pull out. As I did, Luke came running out of Culver’s. I almost left him. The funny thing, the kids knew, and thought it was funny and were just going to let me leave. We are a compassionate bunch!

The place I work, Becker Furniture World, was having an after-hours sale. Lisa and the three youngest kids stopped by to check it out. I was walking through the area we display accessories with 8-year old Luke and pointed to a bouquet of flowers. “This is what you should get your girlfriend.” Luke raised the sleeve of his shirt, flexed his bicep, and said, “This is what I got my girlfriend.” By the way, he has no girlfriend, … and not much of a bicep yet either.

Love,
JR

Photos all taken on Lydia's 19th Birthday. Lydia doesn't like cake, so we got her a pie!

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"Vegas baby, Vegas!"

7/25/2011

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The MN Comets at Hard Rock Cafe - Vegas

News From The North

As I post this Blog, I am sitting in my hotel room in Las Vegas at 8:40pm. Tonight is our fifth night here, and I am so ready to get home. If I was here on vacation with Lisa, we would have had a great time. I’m not! I’m here for Jake’s basketball tournament. It would seem like a great bonding time with my son, but the boys on the team are always off on their own. That leaves me and 6 other moms. Not one of the dads came along. They've been a great group, calling it JR and his harem. But I’ve spent a bunch of time in my room by myself.

I gambled a total of $5.00. I played the slot machines, built my $5 to $10, and then lost it all. The entire process took about 15 to 20 minutes, betting $.25 at a time. While in Vegas – the high temperatures have been 103, 104, 104, 103, 103, and 100. Wow – I left the hottest week in Minnesota since 1966 – and took refuge in the dessert.

Vegas is different than I expected. I was actually dreading coming. When I got here, I really wished I was on vacation with my wife. You can just ignore the gambling and enjoy all the other things there are to do. The place is full of energy and activity at all times. The negative … everything is expensive. And they charge you for everything! The other negative is the sea of humanity you have to wade through to go anywhere.

Coming here I experienced a first. For the first time in all my days of travel, my luggage got lost. You get that bad feeling when the baggage claim stops running and your bag has not arrived. I walk into the baggage claim office and hand the lady my baggage ticket. She looks at it and says, “This says Phoenix. Is your name Russell? Didn’t you look at your claim ticket when it was handed to you?” I tell her, “No – I never have.” She gives me a look that makes me feel like a little kid and says, “Well, you will from now on.” My bag took a detour from Minneapolis, to Phoenix, to Salt Lake City, then to Las Vegas. It arrived at the hotel sometime in the middle of the night.

I listened to an interesting conversation on our flight to Las Vegas. Two young women in their early twenties were sitting behind me on the plane.
    “What is that?”
    “An AM/FM radio.”
    “That’s weird.”
    “I like it when I ride my bicycle because I can change
    the station.”
    “Yeah, I guess you don’t need a playlist for a radio.”

Lisa and I were in the bathroom. I stepped on the scale and checked my weight (not something I bother to do very often). Lisa asked what I weighed. I told her, and she says she wants me to lose 30 pounds (what a sweet wife!). I reply back defensively, “I want YOU to lose 30 pounds.” Lisa says we both need to. I had my shirt off, and flexed like a body-builder. “People would die for this body.” Lisa without hesitation responds, “People with a body like that are dying.”

I usually wake Isabella up in the morning. She sleeps right through her alarm. The other night I asked her what time she wanted me to wake her. She told me 6:00. Eli ran over to me and asked, “Daddy, will you get me up at 41?”

We’ve had seven babies in our home the last 19 years. After all those babies we’ve never owned a safety-gate for the stairs. The children just learned quickly how to maneuver up and down. Well – now we own two safety-gates. We need them for the safety of our dog! If he didn’t stop going up and downstairs to poop, we were going to kill him!

Isabella told me a story about how she and the others swimming ran in a circle around the pool and created a big “world pool.”

I have another Wal-Mart story. For some reason Lisa sets off the alarms when she walks in and out of stores. It is probably a government conspiracy, and they have implanted something into her brain or the filling of her tooth. Whatever it is, it happens often. As Lisa left Wal-Mart the other day she set off the alarm. An elderly man (guessing he is 80 years old) is guarding the door. He takes his job seriously. First he tests the cart to see if it is something in the cart that is tripping the alarm. Nope – the cart is clear. Then he sends Lisa through, and the alarm goes off again. The man decides he needs to wand Lisa and de-activate whatever is setting off the alarm. He then wands each of Lisa’s pockets. Nothing. Then he begins to wand every inch of Lisa’s body. The combination of the uncomfortable process, and the humor of this man determined he is going to find out what is setting off his alarm … made Lisa begin to laugh. She laughed as the man continued to wand her. Finally a store supervisor walks up and said, “Frank, that is enough, you can let her go.” As he releases Lisa from custody, she says, “I think I’m de-activated.” Frank not wanting to give up says, “No you're not.”

Eli for quite some time has claimed Isabella’s friend Dani, as his girlfriend. He was in his swim trunks and one of the kids was trying to switch him over to regular clothes. He rejected the idea saying, “Dani likes me this way.” But I guess things have changed.    When Eli was told that Dani was coming over, he said, “Dani broke up with me. We’re not dating. We’re just going to have lunch.” Poor Eli, having his heart broken so early.

I have created paranoid children. They are afraid that anything they do or say that is funny (or at least funny to me) will end up on the website blog. I guess their paranoia is well-founded.

Love,
JR

8 of the MN Comets, plus Will - in Vegas.

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Are You Fweaked Out?!!

7/17/2011

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News From the North

Luke and Eli were eating pancakes one morning. Luke likes to put powdered sugar on top of pancakes and waffles. Jake was sitting on the couch in the living room and turns around to check on the boys. There sat Eli eating from a mountain of powdered sugar he had poured on his pancakes. He had dumped the entire bag. Later in the day Jake was telling us the story as we traveled in the car. Someone said, “That wouldn’t even taste good!” Eli excitedly interjected, “Yeth it does! I twyed it!”

I took Eli to the bathroom of a restaurant. I’m thinking it’s a quick in-and-out, but Eli informs me that he has to poop. As I’m standing in the stall waiting for Eli to do his job, someone walks into the restroom. Eli loudly asks, “Who is that?” I quietly put my finger up to my lips to tell him to be quiet. Eli again asks, “Who is that?” I try the "finger-to-the-mouth" again and quietly whisper, "I don’t know.” Eli then calls to the unknown visitor, “HELLO??!” No answer. Then again, “HELLO??!” Our visitor somewhat quietly answers back, “Hello.” That satisfied Eli. Then Eli has gas on the toilet. He asks, “Did you hear that?” I shake my head yes. Then there is a plop into the toilet. “Did you hear that?” Another plop. This time louder, “Did you hear that?!” Our visitor leaves the restroom - I’m sure with a story to tell.

I bought a very expensive pair of sunglasses. I have never spent this much on a pair of sun glasses, and I have been paranoid that I am going to lose them or damage them. On the Fourth of July we went to our friends, Andrew and Denise’s cabin which is located on a beautiful lake. At one point Andrew took me out on his Hobie Cat catamaran. It was somewhat windy, so the sailing was a lot of fun. As we came back in from sailing Andrew was going to pull the boat up onto the shore. Several people were swimming in the area, so he said let’s jump off and we’ll pull it into shore. I then jumped off the side of the boat, and two things happened at once. First I was surprised that the water was over my head. Second, my hand got caught and pinched on a cable. I disguised both my pain and the shock, and quickly began to help guide the Hobie Cat onto shore. I then walked up to the cabin as lunch was being served. When it became time to go back down to the beach I could not find my sunglasses. I had no memory of taking them off. I couldn’t imagine where they had gone. I was sure that if they fell off when we were sailing I would remember. After a great deal of searching … no sun glasses. Apparently when I jumped off the boat my glasses came off and due to the shock and pain I didn’t even notice. Although I tried to forget about the big sum of money I paid for those glasses, it was a little hard. I couldn’t help but be a little depressed even though I was working hard not to be. Later in the day Andrew went into the water to swim. As he was standing in almost neck deep water he noticed in the very clear water something on the bottom of the lake. He dove down and guess what … he found the sun glasses. It was a miracle - he walked to the exact place the glasses had landed, and then actually saw them.

Luke was in one of his annoying moods. I jokingly told him he better straighten up or I was going to thump him on the back of the head. Eli yells from across the room, “Do it Daddy!”

Eli is a magician. He can make things disappear. His most recent trick involves my battery charger for my camera. I had the charger and the battery plugged-in. I went to retrieve the battery and both the charger and the battery were gone. I immediately found the battery amongst Eli’s toys, but no charger. A massive hunt was organized, but no charger. We assumed that if time went by it would turn up. After a couple weeks, still no charger.

Jake was playing an AAU basketball game and his team was winning easily. During a late game break Luke ran out onto the court to take a few shots (this is an acceptable thing during some AAU games – depending upon the refs). One of the referees approached him and asked which boy was his brother. Luke told him, and then the referee asked Luke if Jake was mean to him. Luke answered, “Yes.” The referee smiled and said, “Then I’ll call a foul on him for you.” There were only a few minutes left in the game. As the opposing team brought the ball up the court Jake began to guard his man. He barely touched him and the whistle blew. As he promised the ref called a foul on Jake. Jake gave the ref a look of surprise, and the ref smiled real big and looked at Luke and said, “That was for you!”

Why is it that every child must cut their own hair at least once? Eli just had his first self-haircut. He hacked it up pretty bad!

A thunderstorm blew in and the weather changed dramatically. The lightning was frequent and close. The thunder was loud. Eli was getting nervous. He came to me and asked, “Daddy, are you fweaked (freaked) out?”

Lydia recently discovered that her favorite perfume she has been wearing for two years is actually not perfume. It is bathroom spray. She said she always wondered why it was so inexpensive.

Sophia participated in the county fair this week. She showed Dakota again this year, and had a great time. She moved up a class this year, so the competition was much tougher. Even so, Sophia won several ribbons and qualified for the state fair in western pleasure. She is quite excited (by Sophia’s standards – Sophia is not a very expressive person) about getting to go to the state fair. On Saturday Sophia and her horse had an accident. As she was walking Dakota past another horse, that horse decided to take a nip at Dakota. Dakota swung his head toward the other horse, but made contact with Sophia’s face. Sophia ended up with a shiner and cuts on her face from her glasses. Dakota also ended up with a cut on his face from the glasses. Sophia was a bit shaken-up, but she was back with her horse in no time

Lisa recently made a social etiquette mistake that I will NEVER make! She is checking out at Wal-Mart and the cashier (who happens to be over-weight) tells Lisa that she is very tired. Then she gave Lisa a certain look (which Lisa misinterpreted), and says, “It’s not because I’ve worked hard today.” Lisa then asks the question! The question I will never ask a woman unless I already know the answer for sure! Lisa gives her that knowing look back and asks, “Are you pregnant?” She was not!

Speaking of Wal-Mart; I decided that after watching all the Sherburne County Fair attendees, Wal-Mart had to be empty. The fair brings out the community’s finest. Lots of big, hairy men without shirts. I loved the very big man with a tremendously large belly, wearing a t-shirt which read, “With a body like this, who needs hair.” I was approached by a transgender in-the-making who wanted to help me with financial planning. He/she had a woman’s haircut, breasts, but a man’s voice and a 5-o’clock shadow. The name on the business card was Rikki. Rikki was very nice!

Luke enjoyed the fair. He entered a pedal-tractor pull and finished second in his age group. He also had his number drawn and won a new BMX bike. Eli was crushed; he couldn’t understand why he didn’t get a bike. The next morning he woke up and the first thing he said to me was, "Daddy, I had a dream that I won a bike."

That reminds me – Today I’m in Wal-Mart. I know it sounds like we're there a lot, but we live in a rural community and that is the closet place to shop. So I’m in the restroom and this guy is standing in front of the mirror putting on a tie. Once he gets it on he comes to the urinal next to me and puts his arm (elbow to wrist) on the wall up above his urinal. He gives off a manly groan of relief. Then he asks me if my wife cooks for me. I give him a glance and say yes. He then produces a business card which he hands me. Now, I politely take it, but I didn’t really want to. It came from the “busy” hand - not the one on the wall. He then gives me a very compelling sales pitch on the flatware and knives that he sells. I then exit the restroom looking for Lisa to tell her the story. Before I can find her, the bathroom salesman exits and begins to leave the store. He runs into Lisa before I get to her and starts up his sales pitch with her. I think that new Wal-Mart tie gave him some confidence!

Love,
JR

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Then I went bowling!

6/25/2011

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Gabi, Eli and Jake ... I told Jake to pose like a model. I suggest he stick with sports!

News From the North
I guess it’s been a mellow week in the Wilson household. Blog topics are somewhat lean. Today has been probably the most perfect weather day possible. Awesome!! Luke had a baseball game at 8:00am this morning. Other than that, we spent the day at home.

My mother (Margit) is in the hospital with an infection just below her neck. The doctor has determined that they need to remove the infection. Because the infection is near her heart, they want a heart surgeon to do the surgery. Please pray for my mother. It has been one thing after another for her. She is supposed to have surgery on her neck, but this infection is delaying that surgery. Her neck is causing her great pain right now. I wish I lived closer to her. Brad takes great care of Mom, and I am thankful for that!

Jake’s AAU coach received a call from Bucknell University (D-1 in Pennsylvania) asking about Jake and another player on the team. The coach has no idea how the Bucknell coach heard about them – but somehow the word is getting out.

Eli had pizza all over his face. Lisa was wiping his face off and teasingly said, “How are you going to get a girlfriend with pizza all over face.” Eli replied, “I need a new girlfriend.” Sorry Dani!

I played Wii bowling with the kids. Sophia beat me! That’s just not right! When we first got the Wii we played all the time. I got pretty good at bowling. I actually began to believe that I was a good bowler.  Then I went bowling.

Have you ever played Mario Cart? On the way
to basketball games Bella usually eats a banana and when she is finished she throws the peal out the window. I always yell, “Oh no! A car is going to come along and slide out of control!” I have a good laugh and everyone else in the car rolls their eyes.

Eli is sitting on my lap and says, “I wuv Mommy and Daddy.”  I ask him, “Do you love anybody else?” Eli answers,“I wuv my fwiends.” I then say, “I hope you love your brothers and sisters.” Eli replies, “I will wuv them morrow when I get up.”

We were playing “Charades for Children”. Lisa whispered the answer into Eli's ear so he could act it out. The answer was “blowing up a balloon”. Eli thought about it, put his hands to his mouth, hesitated, then turned to Lisa and said, “I need a balloon.” The kids guessed it right away.

In a large family (or at least our big family) it can be frustrating that nothing is your own. Someone is always taking your stuff and using it … and not returning it. Lisa has that issue with her make-up. She even has it now with her clothes. I got tired of never having a pen, or highlighter, or post-it note, etc.  Every time I opened my desk drawer … they were gone.  I was going to solve that problem. I bought a small locking box and placed it in the drawer of my desk. Everything worked well for a while. Then one day the key went missing. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I had to break open the box. So I bought a new box. Before I could even begin using it, someone (I suspect Eli) locked the box and took the key. Nothing was in the box yet, but the key has never been found.  OK – so I bought a third box.  I placed my supplies in the box.  Everything was organized and I felt good. I paid some bills and did some other work. But, I forgot to lock the box and left the keys on my desk. Guess what!  The box is mysteriously locked ….. and the keys are nowhere to be found. This is the third box! As Eli would say, “Take a deep breath and calm down.” Very deep!

Love,
JR

Eli and Luke

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I'm Tired of Having to Complain

6/19/2011

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News From the North

I had a nice Father’s Day. The only negative –
Lydia was gone most of the day working, and Jake is attending a football camp with his team. I had a nice relaxing day – even got in a nap! I wish I lived close to Dad.  I would have really liked to have been at his house with my brother and sisters. I miss those family get-togethers! Happy Father’s Day to Dad! I miss you and love you!

You know those family figures that people put on the back windows of their vans and SUV’s to show you how many kids they have (and pets). Well I found some dressed in Ohio State gear and purchased nine figures to represent our family.  I put them on our Suburban Saturday night.  The family stretches halfway across the back window!  As we drove in Minneapolis today we got the strangest looks from people as they passed us. They just had to look to see what kind of people would have seven kids. It was pretty funny.

The basketball camp the kids went to last weekend was attended by about 98% African American. Luke was the only white boy in his group. I was talking to him about the camp and he innocently tells me that there were so many black boys in his group that he had to “talk black”. I would've liked to have heard that!

The kids enjoyed the basketball camp. In their respective age groups, Jake won MVP, Isabella Best Attitude, Gabi Best Defensive Player and Luke the Hustle Award.

Isabella has a tendency to complain about her aches and pains after a game or practice. She was whining and complaining after the recent basketball camp. I jokingly said, “I’m tired of hearing you complain?”  Bella, without missing a beat says, “I’m tired of having to complain.”

Isabella and two friends decided to go for a walk. Guess what supplies they took?  A baseball bat and two pair of scissors for protection … and of course the Garmin in case they got lost.

I hesitate to include this story in the BLOG. Some of our family members find it funny. I, on the other hand think it is abnormal behavior – not funny! Here goes anyway … Eli is doing pretty well with his potty training.  He gets a little busy and has accidents now and then.  This past weekend we had an issue, but it wasn’t an accident.  Lisa had left with four of the kids. I was home with Lydia and Eli. Eli stood on a barstool in the kitchen, pulled his pants down, and pee’d on a paper plate.  Lydia heard the noise, thinking the faucet was on, turned and saw Eli in action. Lydia, who thought it was hilarious, came and got me. As I said, I did not find it funny.  What in the world would make him pee on a paper plate in the kitchen? I asked him that very question. He said, “Because I was mad that Mommy left me here.” Now I think he made up the reason after the act, but who knows.  I went to clean up the mess. That kid had a perfect aim.  There wasn’t a drop of pee anywhere but on the paper plate – which was full.

Luke – “We can’t have cake. Mom said we can’t brag for food.”

I got to go to a Twins game last week. I went with a couple of the owners of the company I work for and our Ad Agency. We attended courtesy of WCCO, the local CBS affiliate. They have 6 tickets in a section called the Champions' Club. This section is right behind home plate. First you pull up under the awnings right at the stadium for valet parking. You walk into a restaurant with endless food and drinks all included with these tickets. Yes they have the typical food you’d expect at the ball park: salads, fresh fruit and cheese, smoked salmon, filet oscar, carved prime rib, pad Thai, Asian dumplings, pasta and mutton, fried pork, broiled fish, veal parmesan and several other choices. Then there was ice cream, candy, desserts, nachos and cheese, popcorn, hotdogs and other treats.  This is all served an hour and a half before the game, through-out the game, and one hour after the game.  If it happens to be cold, warm blankets are provided.  If it is raining, complimentary ponchos are included. Get there early enough and you can watch through a window and see players warming up in the batting cages.  It was quite a night. The only thing that was missing –well – baseball. The game was rained out. We had our nice meal, sat around until we received the official announcement that the game was canceled, then left.  The good news – WCCO is going to provide us tickets to another game in the future. Hopefully this time I’ll get to actually watch baseball … and sit in the 7th row seat … right behind the plate. This is the third time I’ve had the privilege of using these tickets. Talk about being spoiled!

Lydia says our house is like an orphanage. She complains that there are all kinds of different kids walking in and out of the house. Kids are coming in and out without knocking.  Someone new is staying all night almost every night.  She never knows when someone is at our house.  With seven kids, that usually means someone has friends visiting. Jake’s friends are now comfortable enough they just walk in – sometimes when Jake isn’t even here. It nice that our kids’friends enjoy coming to our house. I’d much rather have them here, than somewhere else!

Tomorrow is Isabella’s 15th birthday. Happy Birthday Isabella (even though my children rarely read my Blog). She’ll be a freshman this school year! That just doesn’t seem right. I’ll have a freshman in college, junior and freshman in high school. Wow!

Love,
JR

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I Had No Choice

6/11/2011

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Luke ..... Sophia

News From the North

Jake, Bella, Gabi and Luke are all attending the Kammron Taylor basketball camp today and tomorrow. Kammron played his high school basketball in Minnesota and is one of the top players to come out of the state. He went on to play for Wisconsin and was a three-year starter for the Badgers. He is now playing in Europe for a team in Cyprus. Each year he returns to his home town of Minneapolis and conducts a free basketball camp as a way to give back to the community. Kammron’s sister, Krystal, played D-1 basketball for Valparaiso, and is an assistant coach for Isabella’s AAU team. Through her we learned about the camp and the kids have attended the last two years. It’s a good camp with good instructors. They provide lunch both days through local sponsors, Gatorade provides drinks and each camper gets a couple t-shirts. All free.

This summer Lydia is working at Becker Furniture World part-time and doing some baby-sitting. After seeing her sleep in until 2:00pm a few days I took action and got her a job.

Last weekend Sophia participated in a 4H horse show. This year she moves up a class and competes against older kids. She finished with 3 third place ribbons and one 2nd. Sophia loves working with horses and she does such a nice job. But, she is slightly allergic to them. Therefore her nose runs the entire time she is riding. Working with horses is a dirty job, and when she wipes her runny nose she gets dirt all over her face. After a day of working with horses you should see her. Her face is covered with dirt. She’s a real horse girl!

In the last week of school Luke was packing his lunch. He came up with a great idea. He filled a water bottle full of ice cream. Gabi, our official tattle-tale, informed me and he was stopped. I told him the ice cream would melt before he even got to school. He said he knew and that is what he wanted.

Our dog Leo is such a chicken! We put him outside attached to a rope. Our deck sits up high in our backyard, and a full flight of stairs go to the yard. The rope reaches up the stairs, and we connect him at the top of the stairs. He is then supposed to walk down to the yard. Well - a small bunny rabbit is living in the tree line not far from where Leo comes down the stairs. Leo is scared to death of this bunny. He will no longer go down the stairs unless he is forced.

After dinner one evening we were discussing what clean-up jobs each child would be responsible to complete. Someone says, “I don’t want washing. I want put-away.” Someone else jumps in and says, “I get counters.” Eli joins in and says, “I get toys!”

In Minnesota it can be minus 20 degrees, or it can snow 12 inches and they won’t cancel anything. Last week it reached 102 and they canceled baseball! If they did that in the south, they’d never play baseball in the summer.

Luke’s baseball team met at the varsity field for their team photo, and then were to immediately go across the street to play a game at the elementary school. Lisa took Luke to the photo session, then drove him to the elementary school and dropped him off. She then went to pick up Gabi and bring her to the game. She went into the house and got a little side-tracked (she left her phone in the truck). When she got back in the Suburban to go to Luke’s game, she had several messages letting her know that the game had been canceled. Lisa hurried to pick Luke up and when she got about a quarter of a mile from the school … there is Luke on the street corner. Luke was proceeding to walk the 4-1/2 miles home. “Luke what are you doing?” Luke’s response? “Walking home. I had no choice. I waited 10 minutes.” “Do you even know your way home?” “Yes, I know what I’m doing.” Pray for us!

The kids are all done with school now. They finished on Wednesday. Now we have to get settled in for the summer. It takes some getting used-to.

We have two graduation parties to attend this weekend. Also, Jake is having 6 (plus him) of the players from his AAU team staying over tonight. Lisa always feels she needs to have the house perfect for such events. Even though the boys could care less, it is important to Lisa!

I started using Facebook because I felt it was important for me to keep up on the latest trends in technology. I didn’t want to be left behind as technology moved on. When my kids told me that no one uses e-mail anymore, I knew I better get moving. I quickly discovered what Facebook was all about, and really enjoyed being a part of it. Now I keep hearing that Twitter is getting more popular than Facebook so I set up a Twitter account. So I ask you, is a tweet really a tweet if you have no followers? I’ll let you know how it goes. My Twitter account is: jrwilsonjr.

Lisa and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this week. The romantic that I am … we went to DQ! I am married to the most wonderful woman in the universe. I am blessed to be married to the woman I love, and like. She is my best friend. She is beautiful inside and out. Lisa is a wonderful mother, a wonderful person, and I get to call her my wife. Thank you Lisa for all you do.

Love,
JR

Isabella and Gabi ..... Jake

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I Never Laid a Hand on Her!!

6/3/2011

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In Fort Wayne, IN at Jake's Tournament. My sister Britt with my neice Bella and my Eli. The whole gang (except John Cox who left B4 this photo, and me - the photographer).

News From the North

Last weekend we had a nice time in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Jake had a basketball tournament, and we took advantage of the close proximity to our family in Ohio. It was so nice seeing everyone. I wish we could do it more often!

Eli was very excited about the trip, and was especially excited about staying in a hotel. As we were riding in the 9-seater Suburban, getting close to our destination, Eli asked if we were going to “hell.” “What did he say?” After some investigation we discovered that Eli’s word for hotel is “hell.” We had quite a laugh. Later that night we ate dinner in a restaurant. The waiter was boxing up the left-overs. Eli got up from the table and took his macaroni and cheese to the waiter. The waiter was enjoying Eli and talking to him as he boxed up his mac ‘n cheese. He handed it to Eli and said something about being able to take it home. Eli proclaims, “We’re going to hell!” The reaction of the waiter was priceless. All weekend Eli was asking, “Are we going to hell?” When he got tired of watching basketball games he would say, “I want to go to hell.” What a perfect age!

This weekend is busy. Jake and Isabella have basketball tournaments in the Twin Cities (same time – different locations). Sophia has a practice 4-H horse show. Luke has baseball practice. Lydia has a baby-sitting job. Gabi and Eli are free!

Yahooo! Lydia successfully graduated from high school! I’ve seen the diploma! It has been a tumultuous and bumpy journey. High school has not been an enjoyable time for Lydia, and she is very glad to have it completed. She did not want a grad party, she isn’t in the yearbook, and she didn’t even participate in the graduation ceremony. Lydia is ready to move on with that next stage of her life. Congratulations Lydia!

(Warning: Editorial regarding Ohio State Football – Skip this paragraph if not interested in football, The Ohio State University, or my opinion!) Anyone read that SI article on Jim Tressel? Now I admit that I am biased. I love Jim Tressel and I still believe he is a man of integrity and high moral standards. He is a good man and a good coach. Is he flawless? – No! Did he make a mistake? - Yes! Does that discredit all the good he has done for years? NO! That article presents accusations as facts. The author lays out rumors as though they are now truth. The author uses Coach Tressel’s outward faith, his offers to pray for his player’s, and his participation in a Bible study as a way to try to discredit him. Already one parent of a player that the author accused of trading memorabilia for tattoos has gone public and stated that his boy does not have one tattoo, and has never traded his memorabilia for anything. He is going to sue Sports Illustrated. Coach Tressel made a big mistake, and more might surface, but OSU is not going to find a better coach, or a better man for the job. I am sad to see Coach Tressel leave.

After all these years of going without a pet, we now have a dog. It is a small cross between a dachshund and a poodle (doxiepoo) … but this one looks like neither. His name is Leo and he has been a great dog. I actually really like him! He still has one problem that is really getting on my nerves. I’m sitting in my office trying to get our internet to work and I smell this awful stench. I turn-around to discover what it might be. Right behind me in the doorway, Leo left me a nice little present. Aaaaaaaaaaarg!

Our internet connection and our home Wi-Fi have been down for several days. I thought I had it fixed, but after a very short time I lost the internet connection and can’t get it back. You don’t realize how dependent you become on the internet.

Well, I got another call from the school regarding an incident with Luke. This time my dear sweet boy had another boy lock the stall in the restroom. The boy crawled out. Luke then kicked open the door. When I asked Luke about it, he said that he’d seen other boys do it. Of course I gave him my version of the “if other boys jumped off a bridge would you?” speech. It’s a timeless speech! I also pointed out that it was bad of him to get the other boy in trouble by having him lock the door. Luke’s reply? … “I didn’t tell him to climb under the door after he locked it.” I’m not sure how that vindicates Luke, but he thought it did.

Lisa has the stomach flu today, and has it bad! I was shaving and Lisa was standing in the bathroom. All of a sudden her legs crumbled, and she fell flat on her face with a thud. It was scary! Fortunately we have a rug in the middle of the bathroom, and her face hit that. So no floor tiles were damaged!

But seriously … she was out for a few seconds and then came to. Now she has a rug burn the size of a 50 cent piece next to her eye and another smaller one right above her eye. Her nose and cheek hurt and her nose has been bleeding. I stayed home today and have been taking care of her. You’d think she would be appreciative, but noooooooooo. You know what she said to me? She said that I better be good the next few days or she will tell people that I beat her.

Love,
JR

More photos from Indiana. John Cox with Eli. Lisa with her sister and mother.

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I Wish I Could Have Someone Better!

5/23/2011

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The Boys - Luke, Jake and Eli

News From the North

Recently Jake received a text from his AAU coach. A coach from University of Hartford had heard about Jake and wanted to watch him play. He is coming to the Milwaukee tournament where Jake’s team will be playing in July. Hartford is a small D-1 school. I have no idea how a coach on the east coast could hear about a kid playing in Minnesota. Today he received a “recruiting questionnaire” from the University of North Colorado – another small D-1 school. It’s really cool that Jake is getting some attention from colleges already.

This past weekend we ran into a logistical problem. We had three kids each needing to be somewhere - all at the same time. Luke’s baseball game was closest to home, so we recruited Lydia to take him to his game. When I told Luke that his mom and I wouldn’t be at his game and Lydia would be taking him he says, “Ahhh, I wish I could have someone better!”

Youth sports would be so much better without the parents! Bella’s basketball team has been one big drama after another. The team started out with 15 players (which was too many). After a tournament a few weeks ago a parent got mad and removed his daughter from the team. Then the next tournament - two more dads get mad – three more girls gone (a set of twins). A fifth girl doesn’t like it that all her friends left, so she leaves too. Then another follows. Now we’re at 9 players. Three of these girls were starters and another was probably the 6th girl.

One thing this did was open up an opportunity for Bella. She had already begun to start, but now the leading scorers on the team were gone. Bella played in a tournament this weekend and as Lisa said, “She played out of her head.” She had a “double, double” in each game. In the second game, Bella almost single handedly brought the team back from a 14 point deficit by scoring 10 straight, unanswered points. They only lost by 2 points and Bella scored 16 (two 3-point shots). When asked why she had never played like that before, she said that she felt like she should leave the scoring up to the better players.

This coming weekend will be fun. Jake will be playing basketball in Fort Wayne, Indiana which is about 2-1/2 hours from our family in Ohio (11 hours from us). Several family members will be making the journey to watch Jake play basketball. Even my best friend, John, will be traveling up from Kentucky. I haven’t seen him for a couple years. It’ll be great to see everybody that comes!

Earlier this week I found Eli had stripped off his pants and underwear and was in the process of shaving his leg with a razor he found in the shower. As Isabella says, he is growing up with too many sisters. He only cut himself twice.

Lisa picked up Isabella from school. She got in the car and stated, “I think I could be in a bad mood today.”

We used to say that Eli was the smartest baby that couldn’t talk. Now we say he is the smartest toddler who doesn’t know his colors. He just isn’t good at those things everyone tries to teach their kids - like colors, animals, counting, and animal sounds. It’s not like we haven’t tried. We have! Even the children have taken it upon themselves to get this kid to know these first facts that all toddlers are supposed to know. The other day Isabella was drilling him on colors. She was using M&M’s as the lesson and the reward. “This M&M is orange. Orange! Eli, this M&M is orange! What color is it?” Eli replies, “Orange.” Bella repeats, “What color is it?” Eli answers confidently, “Orange!” Again, “What color is it?” Eli responds, “Orange.” Then Bella proceeds, “Ok Eli this M&M is yellow. What color is it?” Eli repeats, “Yellow.” Isabella then brings back the orange M&M. “What color is this?” Eli looks at it, puts his fingers up to his mouth as he thinks, and then says, “Ummmm. Uhhhh. Ummmm. I fink it’s (hesitation), ummm (hesitation). I fink it’s, uhhhh – Nim & Nim’s!”

Eli is having a rough night. He sprayed himself with Jake’s cologne. Unfortunately he sprayed it into his own eyes. Then he ran into the bathroom where the floor was slightly wet from Luke’s shower. Eli’s feet slipped out from under him and he fell pretty hard by the sound it made. He started screaming. I went to check on him after he had been comforted by his mommy and sister. He was still fussing. I asked him where he hurt himself. He pointed to his side. I asked him if he hit his head. In a pathetic voice he tells me that he did. I asked him, “Where did you hit your head?” Eli whines, “On the floor.”

Sophia was asking Eli what sounds different animals make. During the process Eli asks, “What does a tree say?” Sophia responds, “Trees don’t talk.” Eli says, “They do on Dora.” Sophia asks, “What do trees say then?” Eli mimics the tree’s voice and points, “The path is that way.”

Love,
JR

The Girls - Gabi, Bella, Lydia and Sophia

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“Can I help you?”

5/13/2011

1 Comment

2011 Easter egg hunt. I hid 161 eggs. Luke predicted in his cocky manner that he would find 160. He actually found 8 ... and was not very happy. Being the sweet family we are - we of course made fun of him. Gabi is examining the candy she scored in the eggs she found.

News From the North

Friday – 05/13/11

Random and Unorganized Thoughts:

I was awakened today by Lisa. She wanted me to remove a tick from her leg. So the very first thing I did today was de-tick Lisa.

There is a boy on Jake's basketball team that is 6' 11". He was unable to play in the last tournament. His excuse was one that I've never heard before. He was bit by a piranha. Yep ... A piranha!

I saw a first of the season today … a tractor in the fields. More rain is in the forecast for the weekend, which isn't good news for the farmers. Last year at this time 96% of the spring wheat was planted in MN. This year it is at 3%. Corn is at 1% compared to 84% last year. Although it is bad in Minnesota, sounds like it is nothing compared to Ohio.

Jake hasn’t played baseball for a couple years. The varsity baseball coach (who is also a football coach) and a few other “baseball guys” have been trying to get Jake to play baseball. Well somehow they succeeded. They have convinced Jake to play Legion baseball – this summer. This should be interesting. He hasn’t picked up a bat in over a year and a half. Now he is going to play Legion ball along with AAU basketball.

The evolution of my hair color: Born with black hair, then it fell out and came back toe-head blonde, then it gradually turned blonde, then sandy blonde, then almost brown, then temporarily and artificially blonde, then brown, and then dark brown. The next stage has slowly started to manifest itself. I believe this next color is what they call - distinguished.

One thing I really like about my job is the commute. If you must have a commute, this is the one I'd choose. It takes 22 minutes to travel 18 miles. There is not one traffic light between my driveway and the parking lot at work. I travel on country roads through the Sherburne Wildlife Refuge, where I get to see deer, wild turkey and bald eagles. There's very little traffic, and the only thing that slows me down is a slow driver here and there. My cell phone gets poor coverage most of the way, so I don't have the temptation of spending the drive on the phone. Virtually every trip (both ways) I pass a Sheriff or State Patrol going the other way. Therefore I resist the urge to hurry. Snow can be a problem, but not much worse than some of the major roads. So today was different. On my way to work I caught up with a line of cars traveling quite slowly, and the line of cars went on a far as I could see. Weird! A traffic jam in the Refuge.

Why do toddlers like to write on walls? Yesterday Eli wrote on the walls of his bedroom. Lisa asked him, “What should I do? Should I spank you?” Eli gave his sweet smile and said, “I think you should hug me.”

I was in Office Depot buying a micro SD card for my new Android. I heard someone choking and turned around to see what was going on. It was the cashier who had come from behind the counter carrying the trashcan and throwing up in it. She then started to run towards me (I was unfortunately between her and the hall to the restrooms). I stood there not sure what to do. She then stopped and threw up some more. Then she ran past me. I looked up at another employee who was standing close by and obviously saw just what I saw. I must have had a very grossed out look on my face – because that is exactly how I felt. The employee didn’t miss a beat and says to me, “Can I help you?”

Love,
JR