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Isn't That Going to be a Little Awkward?

5/31/2013

Gabi at her band concert ... Bella & her friend Adri - champions

Here is the latest edition of the News from the North.  It is almost June, and we have barely experienced spring-like weather. Finally it is green around here, but the temperatures are staying a bit cool.  The good news - mosquito season is also delayed!  The kids only have a couple more weeks of school remaining before summer break. Having everyone at home all day will require that annual adjustment; for both kids and parents.

It will be an especially big adjustment given my new occupation. Many of you know that at the end of 2102 I started my own business. I have formed a company called, “Navigatus Advisory Group.”  As it says in my website:  "I am a business consultant working alongside small to medium sized businesses; creating growth, exploiting opportunities and eliminating weaknesses. A coach, a mentor and a source of new ideas.” I truly enjoy the new experience, but there is extra stress as I try to build the business. When I’m not at a client’s location, I work from home.  Currently it is quiet around here until the children return from school. Summer is going to require some newly established boundaries.

Jake is graduating from High School at the end of the week.  We are having an open house this coming Sunday.  We have been busy getting ready and making preparations.  I did a rough design of the photo card, and sent it to the photographer for final design. We received a proof, which I showed Jake and Lisa … receiving approval from all.  Then actual cards came, and I received a call from Lisa.  “You put an RSVP on the cards?  You don’t ask for an RSVP to an Open House!”  How was I supposed to know something like that? Well we are five days away from the big event. Our RSVP count is … six. Either no one is coming, or they just ignored the RSVP that I shouldn’t have placed on the card.

Dad & CJ from Ohio, and Mom from South Carolina - will be traveling to help us celebrate. Now-a-days most people get invited to graduation open houses though Facebook. Hopefully we have a good turn-out to help us eat our two pigs we are having roasted. If not, we’ll be eating pork for a long time!

My mother traveled to Ohio recently. She and my step-father, my dad and step-mother, my sisters and nieces and nephews all went out to dinner in Columbus. Both my Mom and Dad (remember – they are not married to each other) went up to the counter to pay the bill. Mom told my Dad that she was going to visit me in Minnesota the next week. Dad then said, “Yes, we’ll be there too.” Mom with a look of surprise said, “At the same time I’m going to be there. Isn’t that going to be a little awkward?” Dad answered, “It is Jake’s graduation.” Mom embarrassed, “Oh – don’t tell anybody I said that!”

Notice that smooth transition into the humorous family stories? I must also make note – stories that qualify as humorous are those that I find funny. So if you are not laughing - that is ok - because I am. This edition is heavily weighted toward Eli stories. You can see why he keeps us entertained.

Eli likes to come down in the morning and sit on his mommy’s lap to cuddle. I asked him why he didn’t ever want to sit on my lap. He told me, “Because Mom is soft and nice and always warm.”

If you know Eli, you know he is so skinny that he looks like he was just rescued from a prison camp. Recently he sucked in his shirtless tummy and stuck out his ribs and said, “Yeah! Like a brick!”

Eli was playing at a neighbor’s house and informed them that he wanted a skull or sword tattoo. They thought it was funny and passed the information on to us. I asked Eli about it, and he then explained that he wanted the sword to be black with gold in middle. I told him he might not want a tattoo because it might not be acceptable depending upon what he ends up doing for a job. Eli reassured me, "Oh - I'm not going to work."

Eli was playing with some boys during one of Luke’s baseball games. After the game we got in the car and Eli informed us that a boy was mean to him. “He pushed me down for NO reason.” I asked Eli if he did anything first. Eli explained further, “He was saying mean things to my friend, and I pushed him. Then he pushed me down on the ground for NO reason!”

Gabi's was obsessing over her hair in the car. She had a small cowlick right in front and was trying to flatten it out. Lisa told Gabi that she thought it was really cute and it looked even better than being flat. About five minutes passed, and Eli looked over at Gabi with a disgusted look and said, "I don't think the same thing Mom said about your hair."

Eli was in a restaurant and told me. "I'm cold, I have goose bumps." Then he reached down and felt his legs. Upon discovering no bumps he said, "Oh, no I'm not, I'm hot"

As I've said before, Eli likes guns.

    Eli - “Dad, are you going to watch a movie tonight?”
    Me – “Yes.”
    Eli – “Does it have guns in it?”
    Me – “No.”
    Eli – “Why are you watching it?”
    Me – “I watch a lot of movies without guns in them.”
    Eli – “Why would you do that?”

Lisa and her friend LeAnne were teasing Eli and told him that he could sit beside them if he told them they were pretty. Eli complied by telling them, “You are pretty.” LeAnne then asked, “How pretty are we?” Eli answered, “Two million seventy one (2,000,071).”

Luke & his team won 2nd place in the 5th & 6th grade 3-on-3 tourney (They are 4th Graders!) ... Eli - probably pondering his next funny quote.

Eli and I were sitting together watching a movie. Eli for no obvious reason put his mouth on my shirt and made a weird clicking sound with his tongue. I asked him “Why are you doing that to me?” He looked up at me and answered, “Well I can't do it to myself.”

I’ll mix in a few Luke stories. I asked Luke, “Did you have a good day?” Luke inquired, “What do you mean?” I clarified, “Did you have a good day at school?” Luke answered, “I don't think anyone has a good day at school.”

By the way … in the month of May, Luke won student of the month for his grade. We found out because he was wearing a t-shirt that said “Student of the Month.”

    Me – “Whose shirt are you wearing?”
    Luke - “Mine!”
    Me - “When did you win Student of the Month?”
    Luke - “This month.”
    Me – “Why didn’t you tell us?”
    Luke – “I forgot.”

Luke’s siblings were in disbelief, unable to reconcile Luke’s “home behavior” with that of a student who would win such an award. Jake recently won student of the week. “It took me four years to win student of the week, and you win student of the month?!”

Luke is playing travel baseball this summer. His team is doing well. In a recent tournament they won the championship in a unique way. I’ve heard inspiring coaches tell teams that there is no such thing as luck. I’ve heard it put another way, “Luck is where opportunity and preparation meet.” In this case I’m not sure opportunity or preparation had much to do with it. At game-time a thunder storm moved in and the weather forecast indicated no immediate relief. So the coaches of the two teams who made the finals flipped a coin. The Zimmerman Thunder 10 year old boys were named the champions. Those ten-year old boys were just as happy as they would have been with a more traditional win. They were the champions and they had the trophies to prove it.

Bella finished her spring basketball with a championship win in the Gopher State Championship (16U–AA division). As summer begins she will be working as a waitress and hostess at a local family restaurant. Her varsity school team will also be playing a good bit of ball through-out the summer.

Recently Bella was irritated with boy issues. In frustration she stated for all to hear, “I’ll never date a high school boy again. They’re immature and annoying!” Eli chimed in, “Like Jake?” I guess he knows his big brother!

Our dog Sherlock has a new trick. Our kitchen trash cans are built into the cabinets. Open the cabinet and out pops the trashcans. So Sherlock can open the cabinet door with his snout. He then stands on his hind legs and pulls out trash and spreads it all over the floor. Aren’t dogs so cute?!

Well … that’s it for now. If you’re in the vicinity – stop by Sunday between 3:00pm and 7:00pm. Tell Lisa that you are sorry you forgot to RSVP!

Love,
JR

Lydia and Eli during our last weekend together ... Sophia

1 Comment

Thar She Blows ..."Chicken Island"

5/3/2013

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Morgan & Jake --- Jake & Isabella

I’ve been on a bit of a BLOG hiatus. Even so, I’ve collected thoughts and the fun things that our children have said and saved them for this big moment; the moment when I was ready to resume blogging.

As most of you know, we lost our precious Lydia last fall on September 18, 2012. She was 20 years old, and was living in Fargo, ND while attending college at Minnesota State University – Moorhead (just across the border from ND). Lydia had been home two weekends prior, and we had a very nice weekend. We even went to the Como Zoo on Saturday and spent the afternoon together. September 18th was a Tuesday, and was Gabriella’s 12th birthday. The children had just arrived home from school, and we were preparing to celebrate Gabi’s birthday. A sheriff came to our home and notified us of Lydia’s death. After the autopsy, the medical examiner was unable to determine a cause for the death. The official ruling was “Primary Sudden Unexpected Death.” The medical examiner described it to me as the adult version of SIDS.

It has been just 7 months and 2 weeks since that horrific day. I must admit that I have never been so sad in all my life. I actually cry almost every day. Tears come to my eyes just writing this. It is actually why I have waited so long to write this Blog. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I am not bitter. I am just sad … and I miss Lydia so very much. I know that God is in control, and I trust in Him. I’m not just saying that because it is what I’m supposed to say. I really do! I will see Lydia again; I know that she is experiencing the presence of our merciful God. That is my comfort, my hope and my joy.

As you can imagine, this experience has been very difficult for our family. We will never be the same as a result. People say time will make our loss easier to bear. Maybe so, but I know that I will never stop missing my Lydia! I do not allow myself to push her out of my thoughts to make it easier to cope. I want Lydia to continue to be a part of our conversations and thoughts just as she has for the past 20 years. I want to heal while remembering, not by forgetting. We ask you to PLEASE be comfortable asking us questions, and PLEASE talk to us about Lydia.

This loss has strengthened my walk with Christ. It has improved our marriage. It has brought our family closer together.

Lydia

Lydia always loved the family website, and shared the stories and Blogs with her friends. She especially loved to read, and re-read the funny things our children have said over the years. So with that said … here is the next batch of sometimes funny, sometimes gross, sometimes weird, but never boring … quotes and stories:

Ages for reference: Lydia 20, Jake 18, Isabella 16, Sophia 14, Gabriella 12, Luke 10, and Eli 5!

The last time Lydia came home to visit us we all went to the Como Zoo in St Paul. We had a wonderful time together. As we walked around the zoo we came to the zebra display. Luke watched for a few seconds, and said, “They are boring. They just stand there. Someone should throw in some lions.”

Eli, the youngest of seven children, seems wise beyond his years. Other times – he is still our baby. One particular day he was playing with his food, struggling to eat what was before him. I said, “Just eat two pieces and then you can be done.” Eli replied, “I’m not up to the challenge.”

Sometimes for both fun and education I play a game with the children. I go from one child to the next asking geography and history questions. One day we were playing the game and it came to Sophia’s turn. I asked, “What country is St Petersburg located?” Sophia pondered the question, and then thought she might have the answer. But she answered with a question, “What’s that little place with all the Irish people in it?”

Another time we were playing the same game and I asked the children to name a European country. One of the kids blurted out, “Turkey!” Eli, wanting to join in, exclaimed, “Chicken Island!”

Eli & Sophia

Speaking of chickens, Eli asked “What is chicken made of?” I said, “Chicken.” Eli thought a second, “Oh they kill them!”

Just before the big holiday, Eli asked if we could have an Easter egg hunt on Christmas.

We have a Christmas advent box that has 25 little cubbies, each with a little door. We fill each of the 25 cubbies with candy, and every evening in December the children take turns opening the box and distributing the candy. Eli asked one evening, “Are we doing Advil tonight?”

Lisa bought herself batman underwear. I don’t know why, and as I stop to think, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her wear them. Well Eli saw them and assumed they were his. He picked them up and saw the size and in a frustrated voice said, “Luke - you stretched them out!”

Luke quite proudly informed me that he had double-jointed eyes.

Another Luke conversation:
    Luke:      “Dad, did you go to elementary school?"
    Me:        “Yes. Everybody goes to elementary
                    school.”
    Luke:      “I didn't know if they had elementary school
                    back then!”

Another Eli story: Eli came in from playing outside and was upset. I asked what was wrong and he told me that everyone was throwing snowballs in his face. I said, “I know, that’s what happens.” Eli frowns and sadly says, “You can’t do that to a little boy.”

Eli asked for cereal. According to his sister, he climbed up onto the bar with the cereal and a very little bowl. He tipped the box of Lucky Charms all the way up and it quickly filled the bowl and spilled all over the counter. He then sat there and ate the cereal by hand. Shortly Lisa approached the kitchen and Eli tried to cover his mess by spreading his arms and leaning over the pile of cereal. He exclaimed, "Mommy, don't come in here!" That of course sparked Lisa's curiosity. She came in to find the pile of cereal … but now without any of the marshmallow treats found in the Lucky Charms. Eli took advantage of the spill to eat the very best part. Now we have an unlucky box of charmless cereal!

Eli recently told Lisa, "I love you like a love song." Then he told me, "I love you to all the moons and back."

Somehow in conversation Luke confused his shin with his heel. I asked, “You don’t know your body parts?” Luke replied, “I get them all mixed up. There’s so many of them.”

Lisa went to pick up Isabella at a friend’s home. Keep in mind that Bella is often at this friend’s home, so we have been there frequently. By texting Bella, Lisa knew that Bella is not yet there, but on her way. Lisa therefore sits in the driveway waiting for them to arrive. A car approaches, and Lisa thinks that it must be them. But no - the car goes past and pulls into the driveway next door. As Lisa watches the girls get out of the car, she realizes that she is waiting at the wrong home! You got to wonder what the neighbors thought about the car sitting in their driveway!

Gabi has eczema and sometimes she gets it on her back. As Lisa was checking out Gabi’s back she says, “Bread – let’s try it.” Gabi gives her mother a funny look. Lisa asks, “You wouldn’t give up bread to have your back look pretty?” Gabi exclaims, “Oh – I thought you were going to put bread on my back.”

Jake, Gabi & Bella

One Saturday morning I was called to breakfast. Most of the family was already seated at the table. I was walking down the stairs, half asleep, carrying a cup of coffee. Somehow I missed the last couple steps and tumbled down, falling on one knee then to my back. Lisa screams and the family jumps up from the table to see if I am alright. As I lie on my back, I mutter that I am OK. Jake proudly observes, “You saved your coffee!” In my hand was my coffee mug – still full of coffee!

By the way – more than a month has gone by, and I still can’t fully squat or rest my knee on the ground. Injuries just don’t heal as fast as they used to!

I was riding alone in the car with Eli and he asked me, What if I don’t grow up and get bigger?” I looked back and said to him, “You will. God makes us grow. I used to be a little boy like you when I was young.” Eli without missing a beat, asks, “Did you have Nikes?”

Along with his youth football team, Luke walked in the local Zimmerman Thunder Homecoming Parade. The boys displayed their spirit by making signs on poster board and then carried them as they walked in the parade. When Luke arrives home we take a look at his poster and point out that is says – Go Tunder! Realizing that he just “paraded” his misspelled poster in front of the entire town ... Luke yells, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I asked Eli what he wanted to do when he grew up. He tells me, “I want to go to college where Lydia went.” I then asked what he wanted to do after he graduated from college. He thought for a minute, and then says, “Maybe a gun store.”

Eli really likes guns. He told us that we should get some security cameras and a machine gun in case bad guys come. He says, “We could shoot them or call the police. I think we should just shoot them.”

Eli recently informed me - excitedly, “Daddy – one day Luke was really nice to me!”

We were driving home from a basketball game and from the back seat Eli says, “Daddy, you’re driving too fast.” I ignored him. Ignoring Eli is never a successful strategy. Eli repeats, “Daddy, you’re driving too fast.” I then say, “Eli – don’t tell Daddy how to drive.” Eli hesitates a second and then asks, “Can I tell mommy? “ Lisa is sitting next to me and asks, “Tell me what?” Eli answers, “That Daddy is speeding. I know the laws.”

… and for the record, I was not speeding (by much)!

I hope to resume more timely Blog entries, but no promises. With our lives turned up-side-down, it seems like we don’t always get to the things we should. There are still many “thank you’s” we have yet to write to many people who reached out to us after Lydia’s death. For that we apologize. But we will get to them ... eventually! We are celebrating Jake’s high school graduation with an Open House. It will be on Sunday, June 2nd from 3:00 to 7:00pm at our home. You are all invited!

Love,
JR

Lisa's B-Day ... Luke

5 Comments

Isn't That Going to be a Little Awkward?

Thar She Blows ..."Chicken Island"

News from the North

Author: JR Wilson

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