News from the North
There has always been something intimidating about preparing a turkey for guests. This Thanksgiving I decided I was going to go the extra mile and grill the turkey on my grill. This summer I purchased a Traeger Grill, which is a combination smoker and grill that burns wood pellets. Food coming off that grill is delicious! I knew a turkey grilled on my Traeger would be amazing … if I did everything right.
I studied many recipes online. I watched YouTube videos … how to grill a turkey on a Traeger. Then I chickened-out and decided not to grill the turkey; the traditional route was safe. Let’s just have Lisa roast the turkey in the oven. But as Thanksgiving approached, I suddenly was filled with a renewed spirit of adventurism. And since spell-check didn’t correct me, adventurism must be a real word. It was Wednesday night and I had set my mind on grilling that 16-lb bird that was sitting in our refrigerator. All the recipes I read for grilling a turkey said I needed to brine the turkey overnight. I went shopping to find a container to brine the turkey and came across a brining bag. That seemed like it should do the trick. I filled my cart with additional items called for in the recipe, and drove for home.
There has always been something intimidating about preparing a turkey for guests. This Thanksgiving I decided I was going to go the extra mile and grill the turkey on my grill. This summer I purchased a Traeger Grill, which is a combination smoker and grill that burns wood pellets. Food coming off that grill is delicious! I knew a turkey grilled on my Traeger would be amazing … if I did everything right.
I studied many recipes online. I watched YouTube videos … how to grill a turkey on a Traeger. Then I chickened-out and decided not to grill the turkey; the traditional route was safe. Let’s just have Lisa roast the turkey in the oven. But as Thanksgiving approached, I suddenly was filled with a renewed spirit of adventurism. And since spell-check didn’t correct me, adventurism must be a real word. It was Wednesday night and I had set my mind on grilling that 16-lb bird that was sitting in our refrigerator. All the recipes I read for grilling a turkey said I needed to brine the turkey overnight. I went shopping to find a container to brine the turkey and came across a brining bag. That seemed like it should do the trick. I filled my cart with additional items called for in the recipe, and drove for home.
As I walked in the door, I instructed one of the children to fetch the turkey, and I began to lay out all the items needed for the brining process. I was convinced this was going to be the best turkey ever. I placed the turkey on a cutting board and began to cut the bird free from the plastic netting and wrapping. When I finally thought the turkey was free from the packaging, I lifted it with one hand while trying to pull the plastic wrap from under the bird with the other. What I didn’t see was that the plastic wrapping was full of reddish turkey “juice,” which spilled from the bag, and washed across the counter and onto the floor. Although my patience was thin, being that it was the end of a long day, I bit my tongue and with the help of two of my wonderful daughters, we cleaned it up.
Now let’s start the brining process! I placed the big turkey into the brining bag, which was a large, heavy duty zip-lock bag. The instructions said to fill the bag with water until the turkey was covered, then remove a few cups to place on the stovetop to boil and dissolve the salt and sugar. Once cooled, this solution would be added back into the bag. I began to add water into the bag a gallon at a time. One gallon added, return to the sink - fill the container, a second gallon added - then a third – then a fourth. As I was returning to the sink ... the bag with a turkey and four gallons of water shifted and one side collapsed. Turkey-water began to pour from the bag across the counter, and onto the floor. Fortunately Sophia was standing nearby and grabbed the bag, preventing an absolute disaster!! Even so, a great mess had been created. And this was turkey-water! Gross! The brining process was put on hold and we cleaned up mess number 2.
Now let’s start the brining process! I placed the big turkey into the brining bag, which was a large, heavy duty zip-lock bag. The instructions said to fill the bag with water until the turkey was covered, then remove a few cups to place on the stovetop to boil and dissolve the salt and sugar. Once cooled, this solution would be added back into the bag. I began to add water into the bag a gallon at a time. One gallon added, return to the sink - fill the container, a second gallon added - then a third – then a fourth. As I was returning to the sink ... the bag with a turkey and four gallons of water shifted and one side collapsed. Turkey-water began to pour from the bag across the counter, and onto the floor. Fortunately Sophia was standing nearby and grabbed the bag, preventing an absolute disaster!! Even so, a great mess had been created. And this was turkey-water! Gross! The brining process was put on hold and we cleaned up mess number 2.
I had learned a valuable lesson about the stability of a brining bag filled with water! I placed the bag into a roasting pan to create greater stability. I was also paying great care to hold the bag as more water was added. It took several more gallons before the turkey was completely covered. I removed a few cups of water and began boiling the water, salt and sugar. As that was taking place I added maple syrup, lemon juice, molasses, pepper and minced garlic. I was somewhat surprised to find that the potion in the bag, in which our turkey was going to soak all night … did not smell pleasant. It actually smelled bad.
All of a sudden a commotion broke out in the living room. I don’t know what the source of the argument might have been, but Gabriella said something unkind to Isabella, and Isabella in a state of rage was up and out of her chair shouting unkind words at Gabi. I quickly interjected myself into their feud and started to lecture them about being kind to one another ………
I let my guard down! The bag collapsed on one side and a tsunami of smelly brining solution (maple syrup, molasses, turkey juices, etc) washed over the bar counter, onto the bar stools, onto the floor, across the floor, under the table and chairs … Sophia screamed a blood-chilling scream as she saw the disaster unfold. I grabbed the bag and saved about half of the liquid potion, but not in time to stop a horrible, smelly, sticky mess. Cookbooks were ruined, papers were soaked, and it took fifteen full-sized bath towels to soak up the mess.
All of a sudden a commotion broke out in the living room. I don’t know what the source of the argument might have been, but Gabriella said something unkind to Isabella, and Isabella in a state of rage was up and out of her chair shouting unkind words at Gabi. I quickly interjected myself into their feud and started to lecture them about being kind to one another ………
I let my guard down! The bag collapsed on one side and a tsunami of smelly brining solution (maple syrup, molasses, turkey juices, etc) washed over the bar counter, onto the bar stools, onto the floor, across the floor, under the table and chairs … Sophia screamed a blood-chilling scream as she saw the disaster unfold. I grabbed the bag and saved about half of the liquid potion, but not in time to stop a horrible, smelly, sticky mess. Cookbooks were ruined, papers were soaked, and it took fifteen full-sized bath towels to soak up the mess.
After a significant amount of time, the kitchen was cleaned. The entire family chipped in, removing all the furniture in the dining room, washing the bottom of each chair and table leg. Wiping down the bar stools, mopping the floor that was covered in minced garlic, etc., etc. Then I returned to the turkey. I utilized what was left of the brining mix, then sealed up the bag. By now this had become an entire family project, and we were standing around the turkey bag, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Then someone noted that liquid was dripping from under the bag onto the floor. The flow started to increase. Suddenly we all realized that a hole had formed in the bag and brine was leaking, and doing so with ever increasing velocity. Panic set in. I grabbed the bag and tried to reduce the flow. Lisa suggested duct tape! One of the kids suggested a large bucket. Someone grabbed the bucket and Sophia took it and began washing it. I lifted the bag up high, the bucket was moved into position, and the turkey and bag slid perfectly into the bucket. The turkey was secure, placed in the garage to stay cool over-night. The mess was cleaned. Wow – that was a lot of work just so we could grill a turkey!
The next day: Dinner is to be served at 3:00pm. Pre-heat the grill, get the turkey out of the bag, clean it, fill it with stuffing, 4 hours of cooking time, 20 minutes required for the bird to rest after removing from the grill, 15 minutes to carve. I had the time figured out perfectly. At that perfect time, I went outside and clicked on the switch to the grill. The grill runs on an electric motor that augers the wood pellets into the heating element. Like everything these days, it is all controlled by a computer board. Like I said, I clicked on the switch … the LED readout says “ERR!” No way! A grill is giving me an error message?!
I spend about an hour of researching the issue on the internet, and talking to Traeger service representatives on the phone, all the while Lisa is saying, “Let’s just put it in the oven.” I finally had to give up on the idea of grilling my turkey!! We put the turkey in the oven and called our guests to delay dinner by one hour.
The next day: Dinner is to be served at 3:00pm. Pre-heat the grill, get the turkey out of the bag, clean it, fill it with stuffing, 4 hours of cooking time, 20 minutes required for the bird to rest after removing from the grill, 15 minutes to carve. I had the time figured out perfectly. At that perfect time, I went outside and clicked on the switch to the grill. The grill runs on an electric motor that augers the wood pellets into the heating element. Like everything these days, it is all controlled by a computer board. Like I said, I clicked on the switch … the LED readout says “ERR!” No way! A grill is giving me an error message?!
I spend about an hour of researching the issue on the internet, and talking to Traeger service representatives on the phone, all the while Lisa is saying, “Let’s just put it in the oven.” I finally had to give up on the idea of grilling my turkey!! We put the turkey in the oven and called our guests to delay dinner by one hour.
Just then – as luck would have it … the kitchen drain gets clogged! Yes – completely backed up. Draino did not do the trick. I then emptied the cupboards under the sink. I took apart the plumbing under the sink. As I do, water washes mostly into the bucket I placed under the sink, but also onto my arms. Draino on the arms stings a bit! The trap was not clogged. I ran a 12 foot snake down the pipes. Still no success. With guests arriving soon and I hadn’t taken my shower, I decided to contact a plumber. Once online I decided upon Roto-Rooter whose website advertised 24/7, holidays and weekends same price. It was about 1:30pm and they told me they would be at our home between 3:00pm and 6:00pm. The guests were to arrive at 4:00pm. It could be worse! At least the drain would be fixed in time to clean up the wonderful meal. But you know – that is not the way things were happening at our house this holiday. NO! We receive a call from Roto-Rooter as we were sitting down for dinner. They were sorry, but there was no one available in our area, and they would not be able to come to our house today.
Well, we did the dishes – all by hand (because the dishwasher uses the same drain) in the laundry tub!
What a Thanksgiving! And guess what ... after all that ... that turkey was by far, the best, most moist turkey we have ever prepared! It was awesome! Therefore, I would suggest you follow the above instructions exactly. You will be assured of the most excellent turkey ever! And you will have created a Thanksgiving to remember for always.
Well, we did the dishes – all by hand (because the dishwasher uses the same drain) in the laundry tub!
What a Thanksgiving! And guess what ... after all that ... that turkey was by far, the best, most moist turkey we have ever prepared! It was awesome! Therefore, I would suggest you follow the above instructions exactly. You will be assured of the most excellent turkey ever! And you will have created a Thanksgiving to remember for always.
Now a couple of fun family quotes:
I was trying to help Eli with reading and spelling. I asked him how to spell “cat.” He was struggling so I asked him to sound-out the word. I asked him, “What does ‘cat’ sound like?” Eli thought for a second, and then replied, “Meow?”
We often joke about dumb-blondes given that our family is filled with blondes. One day Gabi was frustrated by our joking and asked, “Why can’t red-heads be dumb?”
I volunteered one day at Eli’s school. As part of that experience, I got to eat lunch in the cafeteria with Eli and his classmates. We were sitting at tiny tables, designed with kindergarten through second graders in mind. I had just finished my lunch and everyone else was still eating. The following conversation took place:
Eli: “Daddy, you’re fast!
Boy across from me: “Yeah, you’re fat.”
Girl sitting next to Eli: “You are fat!”
Me: “Eli didn’t say I was fat, he said I was fast.”
Boy across from me: Embarrassingly – “Oh.”
Girl sitting next to Eli: “Well you are fat!”
I was lighting candles one evening. One particular candle would not light. I kept trying, but the wick wouldn’t hold a flame. Lisa noticed what I was doing and urgently informed me that it was a fake candle with a battery in it. It melted a little, but stills works fine!
I was trying to help Eli with reading and spelling. I asked him how to spell “cat.” He was struggling so I asked him to sound-out the word. I asked him, “What does ‘cat’ sound like?” Eli thought for a second, and then replied, “Meow?”
We often joke about dumb-blondes given that our family is filled with blondes. One day Gabi was frustrated by our joking and asked, “Why can’t red-heads be dumb?”
I volunteered one day at Eli’s school. As part of that experience, I got to eat lunch in the cafeteria with Eli and his classmates. We were sitting at tiny tables, designed with kindergarten through second graders in mind. I had just finished my lunch and everyone else was still eating. The following conversation took place:
Eli: “Daddy, you’re fast!
Boy across from me: “Yeah, you’re fat.”
Girl sitting next to Eli: “You are fat!”
Me: “Eli didn’t say I was fat, he said I was fast.”
Boy across from me: Embarrassingly – “Oh.”
Girl sitting next to Eli: “Well you are fat!”
I was lighting candles one evening. One particular candle would not light. I kept trying, but the wick wouldn’t hold a flame. Lisa noticed what I was doing and urgently informed me that it was a fake candle with a battery in it. It melted a little, but stills works fine!
Eli has been ill quite a bit this year. We had his tonsils and adenoids removed last Tuesday. The poor boy is having a tough time as he heals. He is a high-maintenance invalid! We gave him a cow bell to ring when he needed something. That was a mistake! He rang it constantly. Once he rang it, and when Lisa came to find out what he needed, he told her he wanted the toy that was being advertised on TV for Christmas. The doctors feel that we will see a major improvement in Eli’s health. They said his adenoids were huge. They send both the tonsils and adenoids in to be tested after the surgery. The nurse told us she had to get a bigger specimen container to place Eli’s adenoids, as the regular size was too small to hold his.
Eli has missed 9 days of school already – each time due to illness. We received a letter from the school warning us about the importance of children attending school. Then we received a letter from the Department of Health and Human Services informing us of a mandatory meeting that we must attend, or we will be turned over to Children’s Protective Services and the courts! Isn’t our government and school system wonderful! Seriously! I am livid. The letters treat us like children. I think it might be time to home school.
The cold weather is really here! Snow is on the ground, and our yard is beautiful. I love snow on the ground – not the roads, but on the ground. We are in the middle of basketball season. Jake is a freshman playing at the University of MN, Duluth. He is getting small amounts of playing time as a freshman. Although he would like to play more, he is enjoying being on the team, and attending UMD. Isabella is playing varsity basketball for Rogers High School as a junior. Luke is playing on a travel team – 5th grade. We are decorated for Christmas, but have most of our shopping left to do. Overall, I'd say we are doing fairly well as a family. We continue to grieve the loss of Lydia, and I'm guessing we always will. Most days are good, but for unknown reasons a day will come along that is particularly difficult. Knowing our precious Lydia is dancing and singing in heaven, combined with the knowledge that we will see her and hold her in our arms again one day - we can continue to have joy!
I would be remiss if I failed to mention that my favorite team (the Ohio State Buckeyes football) is playing for the Big Ten title this Saturday, and if they win, will be playing for the National Championship! Yes I am excited … and nervous. Michigan State this Saturday is not going to be an easy game to win. As I’ve mentioned before, I get irrationally emotional over the Buckeyes. I know there is something wrong with that, but I can’t help it! Maybe someday I’ll seek therapy to correct my misguided priorities. But until then – I am focused on the game this Saturday, and can hardly sit still due to my excitement and anxiety. A Gopher fan just wouldn’t understand!
And of course – the last few days we have been enjoying left-over turkey – the best left-over turkey ever!
Love,
JR
Eli has missed 9 days of school already – each time due to illness. We received a letter from the school warning us about the importance of children attending school. Then we received a letter from the Department of Health and Human Services informing us of a mandatory meeting that we must attend, or we will be turned over to Children’s Protective Services and the courts! Isn’t our government and school system wonderful! Seriously! I am livid. The letters treat us like children. I think it might be time to home school.
The cold weather is really here! Snow is on the ground, and our yard is beautiful. I love snow on the ground – not the roads, but on the ground. We are in the middle of basketball season. Jake is a freshman playing at the University of MN, Duluth. He is getting small amounts of playing time as a freshman. Although he would like to play more, he is enjoying being on the team, and attending UMD. Isabella is playing varsity basketball for Rogers High School as a junior. Luke is playing on a travel team – 5th grade. We are decorated for Christmas, but have most of our shopping left to do. Overall, I'd say we are doing fairly well as a family. We continue to grieve the loss of Lydia, and I'm guessing we always will. Most days are good, but for unknown reasons a day will come along that is particularly difficult. Knowing our precious Lydia is dancing and singing in heaven, combined with the knowledge that we will see her and hold her in our arms again one day - we can continue to have joy!
I would be remiss if I failed to mention that my favorite team (the Ohio State Buckeyes football) is playing for the Big Ten title this Saturday, and if they win, will be playing for the National Championship! Yes I am excited … and nervous. Michigan State this Saturday is not going to be an easy game to win. As I’ve mentioned before, I get irrationally emotional over the Buckeyes. I know there is something wrong with that, but I can’t help it! Maybe someday I’ll seek therapy to correct my misguided priorities. But until then – I am focused on the game this Saturday, and can hardly sit still due to my excitement and anxiety. A Gopher fan just wouldn’t understand!
And of course – the last few days we have been enjoying left-over turkey – the best left-over turkey ever!
Love,
JR
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