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How to Cook the Perfect Turkey

12/5/2013

News from the North

There has always been something intimidating about preparing a turkey for guests. This Thanksgiving I decided I was going to go the extra mile and grill the turkey on my grill. This summer I purchased a Traeger Grill, which is a combination smoker and grill that burns wood pellets. Food coming off that grill is delicious! I knew a turkey grilled on my Traeger would be amazing … if I did everything right.

I studied many recipes online. I watched YouTube videos … how to grill a turkey on a Traeger. Then I chickened-out and decided not to grill the turkey; the traditional route was safe. Let’s just have Lisa roast the turkey in the oven. But as Thanksgiving approached, I suddenly was filled with a renewed spirit of adventurism. And since spell-check didn’t correct me, adventurism must be a real word. It was Wednesday night and I had set my mind on grilling that 16-lb bird that was sitting in our refrigerator. All the recipes I read for grilling a turkey said I needed to brine the turkey overnight. I went shopping to find a container to brine the turkey and came across a brining bag. That seemed like it should do the trick. I filled my cart with additional items called for in the recipe, and drove for home.

As I walked in the door, I instructed one of the children to fetch the turkey, and I began to lay out all the items needed for the brining process. I was convinced this was going to be the best turkey ever. I placed the turkey on a cutting board and began to cut the bird free from the plastic netting and wrapping. When I finally thought the turkey was free from the packaging, I lifted it with one hand while trying to pull the plastic wrap from under the bird with the other. What I didn’t see was that the plastic wrapping was full of reddish turkey “juice,” which spilled from the bag, and washed across the counter and onto the floor. Although my patience was thin, being that it was the end of a long day, I bit my tongue and with the help of two of my wonderful daughters, we cleaned it up.

Now let’s start the brining process! I placed the big turkey into the brining bag, which was a large, heavy duty zip-lock bag. The instructions said to fill the bag with water until the turkey was covered, then remove a few cups to place on the stovetop to boil and dissolve the salt and sugar. Once cooled, this solution would be added back into the bag. I began to add water into the bag a gallon at a time. One gallon added, return to the sink - fill the container, a second gallon added - then a third – then a fourth. As I was returning to the sink ... the bag with a turkey and four gallons of water shifted and one side collapsed. Turkey-water began to pour from the bag across the counter, and onto the floor. Fortunately Sophia was standing nearby and grabbed the bag, preventing an absolute disaster!! Even so, a great mess had been created. And this was turkey-water! Gross! The brining process was put on hold and we cleaned up mess number 2.

I had learned a valuable lesson about the stability of a brining bag filled with water! I placed the bag into a roasting pan to create greater stability. I was also paying great care to hold the bag as more water was added. It took several more gallons before the turkey was completely covered. I removed a few cups of water and began boiling the water, salt and sugar. As that was taking place I added maple syrup, lemon juice, molasses, pepper and minced garlic. I was somewhat surprised to find that the potion in the bag, in which our turkey was going to soak all night … did not smell pleasant. It actually smelled bad.

All of a sudden a commotion broke out in the living room. I don’t know what the source of the argument might have been, but Gabriella said something unkind to Isabella, and Isabella in a state of rage was up and out of her chair shouting unkind words at Gabi. I quickly interjected myself into their feud and started to lecture them about being kind to one another ………

I let my guard down! The bag collapsed on one side and a tsunami of smelly brining solution (maple syrup, molasses, turkey juices, etc) washed over the bar counter, onto the bar stools, onto the floor, across the floor, under the table and chairs … Sophia screamed a blood-chilling scream as she saw the disaster unfold. I grabbed the bag and saved about half of the liquid potion, but not in time to stop a horrible, smelly, sticky mess. Cookbooks were ruined, papers were soaked, and it took fifteen full-sized bath towels to soak up the mess.

After a significant amount of time, the kitchen was cleaned. The entire family chipped in, removing all the furniture in the dining room, washing the bottom of each chair and table leg. Wiping down the bar stools, mopping the floor that was covered in minced garlic, etc., etc. Then I returned to the turkey. I utilized what was left of the brining mix, then sealed up the bag. By now this had become an entire family project, and we were standing around the turkey bag, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Then someone noted that liquid was dripping from under the bag onto the floor. The flow started to increase. Suddenly we all realized that a hole had formed in the bag and brine was leaking, and doing so with ever increasing velocity. Panic set in. I grabbed the bag and tried to reduce the flow. Lisa suggested duct tape! One of the kids suggested a large bucket. Someone grabbed the bucket and Sophia took it and began washing it. I lifted the bag up high, the bucket was moved into position, and the turkey and bag slid perfectly into the bucket. The turkey was secure, placed in the garage to stay cool over-night. The mess was cleaned. Wow – that was a lot of work just so we could grill a turkey!

The next day: Dinner is to be served at 3:00pm. Pre-heat the grill, get the turkey out of the bag, clean it, fill it with stuffing, 4 hours of cooking time, 20 minutes required for the bird to rest after removing from the grill, 15 minutes to carve. I had the time figured out perfectly. At that perfect time, I went outside and clicked on the switch to the grill. The grill runs on an electric motor that augers the wood pellets into the heating element. Like everything these days, it is all controlled by a computer board. Like I said, I clicked on the switch … the LED readout says “ERR!” No way! A grill is giving me an error message?!

I spend about an hour of researching the issue on the internet, and talking to Traeger service representatives on the phone, all the while Lisa is saying, “Let’s just put it in the oven.” I finally had to give up on the idea of grilling my turkey!! We put the turkey in the oven and called our guests to delay dinner by one hour.

Just then – as luck would have it … the kitchen drain gets clogged! Yes – completely backed up. Draino did not do the trick. I then emptied the cupboards under the sink. I took apart the plumbing under the sink. As I do, water washes mostly into the bucket I placed under the sink, but also onto my arms. Draino on the arms stings a bit! The trap was not clogged. I ran a 12 foot snake down the pipes. Still no success. With guests arriving soon and I hadn’t taken my shower, I decided to contact a plumber. Once online I decided upon Roto-Rooter whose website advertised 24/7, holidays and weekends same price. It was about 1:30pm and they told me they would be at our home between 3:00pm and 6:00pm. The guests were to arrive at 4:00pm. It could be worse! At least the drain would be fixed in time to clean up the wonderful meal. But you know – that is not the way things were happening at our house this holiday. NO! We receive a call from Roto-Rooter as we were sitting down for dinner. They were sorry, but there was no one available in our area, and they would not be able to come to our house today.

Well, we did the dishes – all by hand (because the dishwasher uses the same drain) in the laundry tub!

What a Thanksgiving! And guess what ... after all that ... that turkey was by far, the best, most moist turkey we have ever prepared! It was awesome! Therefore, I would suggest you follow the above instructions exactly. You will be assured of the most excellent turkey ever! And you will have created a Thanksgiving to remember for always.

Now a couple of fun family quotes:

I was trying to help Eli with reading and spelling. I asked him how to spell “cat.” He was struggling so I asked him to sound-out the word. I asked him, “What does ‘cat’ sound like?” Eli thought for a second, and then replied, “Meow?”

We often joke about dumb-blondes given that our family is filled with blondes. One day Gabi was frustrated by our joking and asked, “Why can’t red-heads be dumb?”

I volunteered one day at Eli’s school. As part of that experience, I got to eat lunch in the cafeteria with Eli and his classmates. We were sitting at tiny tables, designed with kindergarten through second graders in mind. I had just finished my lunch and everyone else was still eating. The following conversation took place:

    Eli: “Daddy, you’re fast!
     Boy across from me: “Yeah, you’re fat.”
     Girl sitting next to Eli: “You are fat!”
     Me: “Eli didn’t say I was fat, he said I was fast.”
     Boy across from me: Embarrassingly – “Oh.”
     Girl sitting next to Eli: “Well you are fat!”

I was lighting candles one evening. One particular candle would not light. I kept trying, but the wick wouldn’t hold a flame. Lisa noticed what I was doing and urgently informed me that it was a fake candle with a battery in it. It melted a little, but stills works fine!

Eli has been ill quite a bit this year. We had his tonsils and adenoids removed last Tuesday. The poor boy is having a tough time as he heals. He is a high-maintenance invalid! We gave him a cow bell to ring when he needed something. That was a mistake! He rang it constantly. Once he rang it, and when Lisa came to find out what he needed, he told her he wanted the toy that was being advertised on TV for Christmas. The doctors feel that we will see a major improvement in Eli’s health. They said his adenoids were huge. They send both the tonsils and adenoids in to be tested after the surgery. The nurse told us she had to get a bigger specimen container to place Eli’s adenoids, as the regular size was too small to hold his.

Eli has missed 9 days of school already – each time due to illness. We received a letter from the school warning us about the importance of children attending school. Then we received a letter from the Department of Health and Human Services informing us of a mandatory meeting that we must attend, or we will be turned over to Children’s Protective Services and the courts! Isn’t our government and school system wonderful! Seriously! I am livid. The letters treat us like children. I think it might be time to home school.

The cold weather is really here! Snow is on the ground, and our yard is beautiful. I love snow on the ground – not the roads, but on the ground. We are in the middle of basketball season. Jake is a freshman playing at the University of MN, Duluth. He is getting small amounts of playing time as a freshman. Although he would like to play more, he is enjoying being on the team, and attending UMD. Isabella is playing varsity basketball for Rogers High School as a junior. Luke is playing on a travel team – 5th grade. We are decorated for Christmas, but have most of our shopping left to do. Overall, I'd say we are doing fairly well as a family. We continue to grieve the loss of Lydia, and I'm guessing we always will. Most days are good, but for unknown reasons a day will come along that is particularly difficult. Knowing our precious Lydia is dancing and singing in heaven, combined with the knowledge that we will see her and hold her in our arms again one day - we can continue to have joy!

I would be remiss if I failed to mention that my favorite team (the Ohio State Buckeyes football) is playing for the Big Ten title this Saturday, and if they win, will be playing for the National Championship! Yes I am excited … and nervous. Michigan State this Saturday is not going to be an easy game to win. As I’ve mentioned before, I get irrationally emotional over the Buckeyes. I know there is something wrong with that, but I can’t help it! Maybe someday I’ll seek therapy to correct my misguided priorities. But until then – I am focused on the game this Saturday, and can hardly sit still due to my excitement and anxiety. A Gopher fan just wouldn’t understand!

And of course – the last few days we have been enjoying left-over turkey – the best left-over turkey ever!

Love,
JR

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Mrs. Thunder Bottom

10/18/2013

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Eli's 6th B-Day, Gabi's 13th B-Day, and a shot of some of the family this summer at Mi Mi and Paw Paw's home.

News From The North

This is my favorite season. I love the crisp cool air and the changing color of the leaves. I love wearing jeans and sweatshirts. I love the college football season; watching my Buckeyes on Saturday. I certainly don’t mind a good NFL game! The grass doesn’t grow as fast! There’s a smell in the air that just makes you want to breathe in deeply. I love fall, and wish it would go on and on. And when the reality of what’s to come starts to enter my mind – I quickly push it out … and pretend that the Minnesota winter is really not just around the corner. NO – this is fall, and I’m going to enjoy it. I choose to block out the truth and only focus on the beauty of autumn. Heck, we won’t see snow for at least a couple days!

Our family is getting adjusted to having Jake away at college and Eli in kindergarten. We are busy as school has begun. Jake started his freshman year of college, and is busy with classes and pre-season basketball. Isabella is doing some pre-season basketball stuff, while she works on weekends as a waitress in a local family-owned restaurant. She is also trying to get started modeling, and has a couple auditions. Sophia will turn 15 years old soon, and I am in denial. She will be old enough to start driving with a learners permit. Oh no! Gabi is playing volleyball, and intends to play JO volleyball in the winter. Luke just finished football season and will start basketball soon. Eli likes kindergarten, but he is currently struggling with reading and is getting special help. He has a much greater interest in the social aspects of school, and learning is just something that gets in the way of the fun.

My Lady!

Now for the collection of funny and interesting things the children have said recently. I keep a running list on my phone, and when I hear something that strikes me as funny, I type it in so later it finds its way onto my Blog.

For reference, here are the ages: Jake 19, Isabella 17, Sophia 14 (15 on 11/25), Gabi 13, Luke 10 and Eli 6.

We were at a friend’s graduation party where we saw an adorable little girl. I made a comment, “I'd like to adopt a little girl like that.” Luke chimed in, “I want you to adopt a boy my age.” Luke tends to have trouble getting along with both Gabi and Eli. So Lisa says, “So you can fight with him?” Luke replies, “No - buy an athletic one so I can play with him.”

At another graduation party Luke had noticed some people drinking a beverage that he thought he would like to try, but was having trouble locating. He came up and asked me, “Where are those Mike's Hard Lemonade?”

Eli got in the car on a hot day and told me, "Turn the heat on cold!"

Luke overheard Lisa and I talking. One of us asked, “I wonder why they didn't have more children?” Luke looked surprised and asked, "You can just have more babies if you want to?"

We were at a baseball game and after Luke scored a run Eli proclaimed, “He got a home run!” For some unknown reason I corrected him and said, “No. He got a triple and then scored on a passed ball.” Eli said, “He still got a home run.” I insisted, “He got a run, but not a home run.” I heard Eli quietly say under his breath, "You don't know what you're talking about."

Luke & Cousin Claire

Bella jumped in one day and gave her opinion of how Lisa and I should handle a parental issue. Then she stated, "I should be the parent of this house. I have a lot of good input."

We were having a wonderful desert of strawberry shortcake topped with whipped cream. Thinking that Eli would prefer just the strawberries and whipped cream, Lisa prepared his without the shortcake. Eli noticed and asked, “Why didn't I get one of those buns?”

Lisa was criticizing one of Isabella’s Tweets.

    Bella – “Mom you don't even know what Twitter is.”
    Lisa – “Well I know you don't twit stupid stuff.”
    Bella – “My point exactly!”

Although this didn’t come from one of my children, it is worth mentioning. One of their friends was visiting. I overheard amongst the laughter that their friend thought a person from South Dakota would have a southern accent.

One evening after dark I asked Gabi to go out on the deck and bring something inside. She was afraid of the critters that lurk after dark and resisted. I insisted and she yells, “No, there's a crab on the window!” Bella, who is standing near says, “Gabi, we live in Minnesota! And it's a moth!”

Paw Paw fishing with cousin Fletcher and Luke (Summer 2013)

Luke was watching the older boys play 21 (basketball game). He turns to me and asks, "How many points do you need to win 21?" (For those of you who don't know ... it's 21.)

Lisa woke Eli in the morning to go to school. He was very tired and his first words, "I want to quit Kindergarten." It was only the start of week 3 for him! Later we asked him why he said he wanted to quit kindergarten and he told us, "I want to get up, when I want to get up."

Luke asked me, "Why do girl's legs grow so fast?"

The school district allocated some extra money to the over-crowded kindergarten situation and hired an additional teacher after school had been in session a month. They selected 3 kids from each class to fill this class, and Eli was one of the kids who were to be moved into the new class. When we told him that he was changing classes he was devastated. Now one of the ways I deal with sadness is to use humor. Sometimes my children don’t like this tactic, but I’m pretty sure I learned it from a couple of older Wilson men. I told Eli that his new teacher's name was Mrs. Thunder Bottom. After going to school the next day, Eli came home and notified us that he told his teacher, “My Daddy says my new teacher’s name is Mrs. Thunder Bottom.”

Luke was asking me questions such as, “How much do we pay for insurance?” “How much is the house payment?” “How much did we pay for our house?” He then asked why I was smiling. I told him it was because he was just like his big sister Lydia. She always asked those types of questions. Luke replied, “I don’t like not knowing things.”

The children were enjoying smoothies they had made. Eli heard me say “smoothie,” and he corrected me, “No Daddy, sm ooo ooo ooo vie.”

I love this big family of ours. There’s rarely a dull moment, and it is so amazing how seven children can be so different from one another. My children are a blessing, and I am thankful for each one of them. People often say something like, “I don’t know how you handle seven children, and I can barely handle my two.” The truth is - it is not a burden. Yes – there are challenging times, but I can’t imagine life without my bevy of Wilson’s.

Love,
JR

Jake and Timothy (my brother), the three girls (Gabi, Bella & Sophia) having fun, and Eli chill'n by the pool.

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Our Day

9/18/2013

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Just one year ago we lost our precious Lydia. It is a very sad and emotional day for our family, but it is also a happy day. Lydia passed away on Gabi's birthday. God's ways can be mysterious to our human minds. But His ways are perfect and without fault. The way we are choosing to look at this is that the two share birthdays. September 18th is Lydia's heavenly birthday and Gabi's earthly birthday.

We miss Lydia deeply. As time has gone by, our emotions have changed from shock and horror, to sadness and heartache based upon the reality of never seeing Lydia again while we are on this earth. Honestly, some recent days seem harder than the early days. Tears flow nearly every day. It has been the most difficult year of my life. And the start of year 2 doesn’t suddenly make everything better. The difficulties continue along with the intense sadness.

But through this all, we have had our heavenly father by our side comforting us. I’ve heard people ask the question, “How could a loving God let a child die?” I know why! Because … God does not view death as the end. He views death as the beginning. For those who believe in Jesus, and have accepted His gift of salvation, it is the beginning of our lives with Him. Lydia accepted Christ early in her life. On April 22, 2001 (at 2:01pm) she accepted the Lord into her heart. At the time I recorded the moment into my Bible. I wrote down the date and time, along with the scripture reference, “Psalms 40”. I don’t recall what led me to this scripture at the time, but when I return there I see it is the most perfect of scriptures to associate with Lydia’s wonderful decision.

Yes I am very sad. Yes, I miss Lydia more than I could ever describe. But my faith in God will not waiver. I will never be the same, and I expect that I will always miss my special girl. I might always feel some level of sadness when I think of my loss. But I will smile when I think of the fond memories of Lydia. And I smile when I think of that moment when I will see Lydia again.

Now let me tell you about Gabriella – our new teenager. Gabriella has had three heart surgeries, two of which have been open-heart. We didn’t know if our little baby would live to be four months old. But God worked miracles and Gabi is now a strong and healthy 13 year-old.

Just tonight I made the observation that this birthday (the 13th) was coincidentally on 20-13. I thought that was quite a special birthday. A little bit later Gabi came back to me and informed me that every one of her birthdays would be like that. She would be 14 in 20-14, 15 in 20-15, etc. It only took me 13 years to make that observation, and wasn’t bright enough to figure out that this year wasn’t unique.

During Lydia’s funeral, one of her teachers spoke. It was a wonderful tribute to Lydia, and we learned some amazing things about the impact Lydia had on the lives of others. One thing she revealed was about a school assignment in which Lydia had to write about her hero. Lydia chose to write about Gabi. Yes Gabi was Lydia’s heroine. She admired her for her strength and resolve.

We intend to make September 18th a celebration of Gabi’s birthday. Please pray for us. And wish Gabi a Happy Birthday. She is 13 in 20-13!

Love
JR

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Lydia's 21st Birthday

7/27/2013

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Today is the day my sweet Lydia was born. This was always a special day. She loved to spend the day shopping, drinking coffee and eating lunch with her mother. Then the entire family would go out to dinner. We would then come home and sing happy birthday while Lydia blew out the candles of her birthday pie! Yes pie ... she didn't like cake. Last year for some reason Lydia decided she just wanted to spend the day with just she, Lisa and I. We had a wonderful day, and a day I will always cherish. This year we will spend the day by celebrating, not mourning. There will be tears, but only because we miss our beautiful Lydia. We are going to visit the cemetery, then go shopping, and then out to one of Lydia's favorite places - Olive Garden. Then we'll come home and all share a birthday pie! We love you Lydia, we miss you and we rejoice knowing that you are experiencing the joy of God's presence. My step-mother CJ shared these words with me today: "in Me, death marks the beginning of the abundant life I intended all along." That is my comfort! Happy birthday Lydia! I can't wait to wrap my arms around you again!

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Isn't That Going to be a Little Awkward?

5/31/2013

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Gabi at her band concert ... Bella & her friend Adri - champions

Here is the latest edition of the News from the North.  It is almost June, and we have barely experienced spring-like weather. Finally it is green around here, but the temperatures are staying a bit cool.  The good news - mosquito season is also delayed!  The kids only have a couple more weeks of school remaining before summer break. Having everyone at home all day will require that annual adjustment; for both kids and parents.

It will be an especially big adjustment given my new occupation. Many of you know that at the end of 2102 I started my own business. I have formed a company called, “Navigatus Advisory Group.”  As it says in my website:  "I am a business consultant working alongside small to medium sized businesses; creating growth, exploiting opportunities and eliminating weaknesses. A coach, a mentor and a source of new ideas.” I truly enjoy the new experience, but there is extra stress as I try to build the business. When I’m not at a client’s location, I work from home.  Currently it is quiet around here until the children return from school. Summer is going to require some newly established boundaries.

Jake is graduating from High School at the end of the week.  We are having an open house this coming Sunday.  We have been busy getting ready and making preparations.  I did a rough design of the photo card, and sent it to the photographer for final design. We received a proof, which I showed Jake and Lisa … receiving approval from all.  Then actual cards came, and I received a call from Lisa.  “You put an RSVP on the cards?  You don’t ask for an RSVP to an Open House!”  How was I supposed to know something like that? Well we are five days away from the big event. Our RSVP count is … six. Either no one is coming, or they just ignored the RSVP that I shouldn’t have placed on the card.

Dad & CJ from Ohio, and Mom from South Carolina - will be traveling to help us celebrate. Now-a-days most people get invited to graduation open houses though Facebook. Hopefully we have a good turn-out to help us eat our two pigs we are having roasted. If not, we’ll be eating pork for a long time!

My mother traveled to Ohio recently. She and my step-father, my dad and step-mother, my sisters and nieces and nephews all went out to dinner in Columbus. Both my Mom and Dad (remember – they are not married to each other) went up to the counter to pay the bill. Mom told my Dad that she was going to visit me in Minnesota the next week. Dad then said, “Yes, we’ll be there too.” Mom with a look of surprise said, “At the same time I’m going to be there. Isn’t that going to be a little awkward?” Dad answered, “It is Jake’s graduation.” Mom embarrassed, “Oh – don’t tell anybody I said that!”

Notice that smooth transition into the humorous family stories? I must also make note – stories that qualify as humorous are those that I find funny. So if you are not laughing - that is ok - because I am. This edition is heavily weighted toward Eli stories. You can see why he keeps us entertained.

Eli likes to come down in the morning and sit on his mommy’s lap to cuddle. I asked him why he didn’t ever want to sit on my lap. He told me, “Because Mom is soft and nice and always warm.”

If you know Eli, you know he is so skinny that he looks like he was just rescued from a prison camp. Recently he sucked in his shirtless tummy and stuck out his ribs and said, “Yeah! Like a brick!”

Eli was playing at a neighbor’s house and informed them that he wanted a skull or sword tattoo. They thought it was funny and passed the information on to us. I asked Eli about it, and he then explained that he wanted the sword to be black with gold in middle. I told him he might not want a tattoo because it might not be acceptable depending upon what he ends up doing for a job. Eli reassured me, "Oh - I'm not going to work."

Eli was playing with some boys during one of Luke’s baseball games. After the game we got in the car and Eli informed us that a boy was mean to him. “He pushed me down for NO reason.” I asked Eli if he did anything first. Eli explained further, “He was saying mean things to my friend, and I pushed him. Then he pushed me down on the ground for NO reason!”

Gabi's was obsessing over her hair in the car. She had a small cowlick right in front and was trying to flatten it out. Lisa told Gabi that she thought it was really cute and it looked even better than being flat. About five minutes passed, and Eli looked over at Gabi with a disgusted look and said, "I don't think the same thing Mom said about your hair."

Eli was in a restaurant and told me. "I'm cold, I have goose bumps." Then he reached down and felt his legs. Upon discovering no bumps he said, "Oh, no I'm not, I'm hot"

As I've said before, Eli likes guns.

    Eli - “Dad, are you going to watch a movie tonight?”
    Me – “Yes.”
    Eli – “Does it have guns in it?”
    Me – “No.”
    Eli – “Why are you watching it?”
    Me – “I watch a lot of movies without guns in them.”
    Eli – “Why would you do that?”

Lisa and her friend LeAnne were teasing Eli and told him that he could sit beside them if he told them they were pretty. Eli complied by telling them, “You are pretty.” LeAnne then asked, “How pretty are we?” Eli answered, “Two million seventy one (2,000,071).”

Luke & his team won 2nd place in the 5th & 6th grade 3-on-3 tourney (They are 4th Graders!) ... Eli - probably pondering his next funny quote.

Eli and I were sitting together watching a movie. Eli for no obvious reason put his mouth on my shirt and made a weird clicking sound with his tongue. I asked him “Why are you doing that to me?” He looked up at me and answered, “Well I can't do it to myself.”

I’ll mix in a few Luke stories. I asked Luke, “Did you have a good day?” Luke inquired, “What do you mean?” I clarified, “Did you have a good day at school?” Luke answered, “I don't think anyone has a good day at school.”

By the way … in the month of May, Luke won student of the month for his grade. We found out because he was wearing a t-shirt that said “Student of the Month.”

    Me – “Whose shirt are you wearing?”
    Luke - “Mine!”
    Me - “When did you win Student of the Month?”
    Luke - “This month.”
    Me – “Why didn’t you tell us?”
    Luke – “I forgot.”

Luke’s siblings were in disbelief, unable to reconcile Luke’s “home behavior” with that of a student who would win such an award. Jake recently won student of the week. “It took me four years to win student of the week, and you win student of the month?!”

Luke is playing travel baseball this summer. His team is doing well. In a recent tournament they won the championship in a unique way. I’ve heard inspiring coaches tell teams that there is no such thing as luck. I’ve heard it put another way, “Luck is where opportunity and preparation meet.” In this case I’m not sure opportunity or preparation had much to do with it. At game-time a thunder storm moved in and the weather forecast indicated no immediate relief. So the coaches of the two teams who made the finals flipped a coin. The Zimmerman Thunder 10 year old boys were named the champions. Those ten-year old boys were just as happy as they would have been with a more traditional win. They were the champions and they had the trophies to prove it.

Bella finished her spring basketball with a championship win in the Gopher State Championship (16U–AA division). As summer begins she will be working as a waitress and hostess at a local family restaurant. Her varsity school team will also be playing a good bit of ball through-out the summer.

Recently Bella was irritated with boy issues. In frustration she stated for all to hear, “I’ll never date a high school boy again. They’re immature and annoying!” Eli chimed in, “Like Jake?” I guess he knows his big brother!

Our dog Sherlock has a new trick. Our kitchen trash cans are built into the cabinets. Open the cabinet and out pops the trashcans. So Sherlock can open the cabinet door with his snout. He then stands on his hind legs and pulls out trash and spreads it all over the floor. Aren’t dogs so cute?!

Well … that’s it for now. If you’re in the vicinity – stop by Sunday between 3:00pm and 7:00pm. Tell Lisa that you are sorry you forgot to RSVP!

Love,
JR

Lydia and Eli during our last weekend together ... Sophia

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Thar She Blows ..."Chicken Island"

5/3/2013

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Morgan & Jake --- Jake & Isabella

I’ve been on a bit of a BLOG hiatus. Even so, I’ve collected thoughts and the fun things that our children have said and saved them for this big moment; the moment when I was ready to resume blogging.

As most of you know, we lost our precious Lydia last fall on September 18, 2012. She was 20 years old, and was living in Fargo, ND while attending college at Minnesota State University – Moorhead (just across the border from ND). Lydia had been home two weekends prior, and we had a very nice weekend. We even went to the Como Zoo on Saturday and spent the afternoon together. September 18th was a Tuesday, and was Gabriella’s 12th birthday. The children had just arrived home from school, and we were preparing to celebrate Gabi’s birthday. A sheriff came to our home and notified us of Lydia’s death. After the autopsy, the medical examiner was unable to determine a cause for the death. The official ruling was “Primary Sudden Unexpected Death.” The medical examiner described it to me as the adult version of SIDS.

It has been just 7 months and 2 weeks since that horrific day. I must admit that I have never been so sad in all my life. I actually cry almost every day. Tears come to my eyes just writing this. It is actually why I have waited so long to write this Blog. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I am not bitter. I am just sad … and I miss Lydia so very much. I know that God is in control, and I trust in Him. I’m not just saying that because it is what I’m supposed to say. I really do! I will see Lydia again; I know that she is experiencing the presence of our merciful God. That is my comfort, my hope and my joy.

As you can imagine, this experience has been very difficult for our family. We will never be the same as a result. People say time will make our loss easier to bear. Maybe so, but I know that I will never stop missing my Lydia! I do not allow myself to push her out of my thoughts to make it easier to cope. I want Lydia to continue to be a part of our conversations and thoughts just as she has for the past 20 years. I want to heal while remembering, not by forgetting. We ask you to PLEASE be comfortable asking us questions, and PLEASE talk to us about Lydia.

This loss has strengthened my walk with Christ. It has improved our marriage. It has brought our family closer together.

Lydia

Lydia always loved the family website, and shared the stories and Blogs with her friends. She especially loved to read, and re-read the funny things our children have said over the years. So with that said … here is the next batch of sometimes funny, sometimes gross, sometimes weird, but never boring … quotes and stories:

Ages for reference: Lydia 20, Jake 18, Isabella 16, Sophia 14, Gabriella 12, Luke 10, and Eli 5!

The last time Lydia came home to visit us we all went to the Como Zoo in St Paul. We had a wonderful time together. As we walked around the zoo we came to the zebra display. Luke watched for a few seconds, and said, “They are boring. They just stand there. Someone should throw in some lions.”

Eli, the youngest of seven children, seems wise beyond his years. Other times – he is still our baby. One particular day he was playing with his food, struggling to eat what was before him. I said, “Just eat two pieces and then you can be done.” Eli replied, “I’m not up to the challenge.”

Sometimes for both fun and education I play a game with the children. I go from one child to the next asking geography and history questions. One day we were playing the game and it came to Sophia’s turn. I asked, “What country is St Petersburg located?” Sophia pondered the question, and then thought she might have the answer. But she answered with a question, “What’s that little place with all the Irish people in it?”

Another time we were playing the same game and I asked the children to name a European country. One of the kids blurted out, “Turkey!” Eli, wanting to join in, exclaimed, “Chicken Island!”

Eli & Sophia

Speaking of chickens, Eli asked “What is chicken made of?” I said, “Chicken.” Eli thought a second, “Oh they kill them!”

Just before the big holiday, Eli asked if we could have an Easter egg hunt on Christmas.

We have a Christmas advent box that has 25 little cubbies, each with a little door. We fill each of the 25 cubbies with candy, and every evening in December the children take turns opening the box and distributing the candy. Eli asked one evening, “Are we doing Advil tonight?”

Lisa bought herself batman underwear. I don’t know why, and as I stop to think, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her wear them. Well Eli saw them and assumed they were his. He picked them up and saw the size and in a frustrated voice said, “Luke - you stretched them out!”

Luke quite proudly informed me that he had double-jointed eyes.

Another Luke conversation:
    Luke:      “Dad, did you go to elementary school?"
    Me:        “Yes. Everybody goes to elementary
                    school.”
    Luke:      “I didn't know if they had elementary school
                    back then!”

Another Eli story: Eli came in from playing outside and was upset. I asked what was wrong and he told me that everyone was throwing snowballs in his face. I said, “I know, that’s what happens.” Eli frowns and sadly says, “You can’t do that to a little boy.”

Eli asked for cereal. According to his sister, he climbed up onto the bar with the cereal and a very little bowl. He tipped the box of Lucky Charms all the way up and it quickly filled the bowl and spilled all over the counter. He then sat there and ate the cereal by hand. Shortly Lisa approached the kitchen and Eli tried to cover his mess by spreading his arms and leaning over the pile of cereal. He exclaimed, "Mommy, don't come in here!" That of course sparked Lisa's curiosity. She came in to find the pile of cereal … but now without any of the marshmallow treats found in the Lucky Charms. Eli took advantage of the spill to eat the very best part. Now we have an unlucky box of charmless cereal!

Eli recently told Lisa, "I love you like a love song." Then he told me, "I love you to all the moons and back."

Somehow in conversation Luke confused his shin with his heel. I asked, “You don’t know your body parts?” Luke replied, “I get them all mixed up. There’s so many of them.”

Lisa went to pick up Isabella at a friend’s home. Keep in mind that Bella is often at this friend’s home, so we have been there frequently. By texting Bella, Lisa knew that Bella is not yet there, but on her way. Lisa therefore sits in the driveway waiting for them to arrive. A car approaches, and Lisa thinks that it must be them. But no - the car goes past and pulls into the driveway next door. As Lisa watches the girls get out of the car, she realizes that she is waiting at the wrong home! You got to wonder what the neighbors thought about the car sitting in their driveway!

Gabi has eczema and sometimes she gets it on her back. As Lisa was checking out Gabi’s back she says, “Bread – let’s try it.” Gabi gives her mother a funny look. Lisa asks, “You wouldn’t give up bread to have your back look pretty?” Gabi exclaims, “Oh – I thought you were going to put bread on my back.”

Jake, Gabi & Bella

One Saturday morning I was called to breakfast. Most of the family was already seated at the table. I was walking down the stairs, half asleep, carrying a cup of coffee. Somehow I missed the last couple steps and tumbled down, falling on one knee then to my back. Lisa screams and the family jumps up from the table to see if I am alright. As I lie on my back, I mutter that I am OK. Jake proudly observes, “You saved your coffee!” In my hand was my coffee mug – still full of coffee!

By the way – more than a month has gone by, and I still can’t fully squat or rest my knee on the ground. Injuries just don’t heal as fast as they used to!

I was riding alone in the car with Eli and he asked me, What if I don’t grow up and get bigger?” I looked back and said to him, “You will. God makes us grow. I used to be a little boy like you when I was young.” Eli without missing a beat, asks, “Did you have Nikes?”

Along with his youth football team, Luke walked in the local Zimmerman Thunder Homecoming Parade. The boys displayed their spirit by making signs on poster board and then carried them as they walked in the parade. When Luke arrives home we take a look at his poster and point out that is says – Go Tunder! Realizing that he just “paraded” his misspelled poster in front of the entire town ... Luke yells, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I asked Eli what he wanted to do when he grew up. He tells me, “I want to go to college where Lydia went.” I then asked what he wanted to do after he graduated from college. He thought for a minute, and then says, “Maybe a gun store.”

Eli really likes guns. He told us that we should get some security cameras and a machine gun in case bad guys come. He says, “We could shoot them or call the police. I think we should just shoot them.”

Eli recently informed me - excitedly, “Daddy – one day Luke was really nice to me!”

We were driving home from a basketball game and from the back seat Eli says, “Daddy, you’re driving too fast.” I ignored him. Ignoring Eli is never a successful strategy. Eli repeats, “Daddy, you’re driving too fast.” I then say, “Eli – don’t tell Daddy how to drive.” Eli hesitates a second and then asks, “Can I tell mommy? “ Lisa is sitting next to me and asks, “Tell me what?” Eli answers, “That Daddy is speeding. I know the laws.”

… and for the record, I was not speeding (by much)!

I hope to resume more timely Blog entries, but no promises. With our lives turned up-side-down, it seems like we don’t always get to the things we should. There are still many “thank you’s” we have yet to write to many people who reached out to us after Lydia’s death. For that we apologize. But we will get to them ... eventually! We are celebrating Jake’s high school graduation with an Open House. It will be on Sunday, June 2nd from 3:00 to 7:00pm at our home. You are all invited!

Love,
JR

Lisa's B-Day ... Luke

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The Deer & the Cantaloupe Prancing

8/17/2012

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The Boys!

News from the North

08/16/2012

It has been 9 months since my last Blog … just the right amount of time to give birth to this ……

I’ve missed announcing quite a bit of news, and probably lost a bunch of funny moments, but I did keep track of a few things along the way.

I’ll run quickly through the kids with a highlight or two since the last Blog. Then I’ll share a few funny moments from our home!

Lydia – just finished her first year of college at MN State, Moorhead. She is spending the summer at school, renting an apartment, taking a couple classes, while working as a nanny. Lydia also procured two dogs against the advice of her parents. She is totally wrapped up in those two puppies. She does make her way back home to visit often.

Jake – had a successful high school basketball season. The team won the conference. Jake was named All-Conference, while leading his team in scoring, rebounding and shot-blocks. He was voted to be the team captain for next year. He played AAU basketball this spring and summer. He will begin his senior year of high school in the fall.

Isabella – won Homecoming Princess for her freshman class. She played on the high school JV basketball team. The good news, only one of the two times she received a black eye during the season actually turned out to be a concussion. Bella also played on an AAU basketball team this spring and summer. She will be a sophomore this school year.

Sophia – won student of the week at Zimmerman Middle School during her 7th grade year. She was also inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. She is very active in 4H. Her Horse Bowl Team won 1st place at the annual local contest. Sophia rides and shows a horse. She did well at the County Fair, and will participate in the State Horse Show for the 2nd year in a row. Horses are definitely her passion. Sophia is getting very tall and maturing into a young woman … a little too quickly.

Gabriella – is a good student. Her teachers tell us that she is very quiet in class. She played travel basketball during the winter and has attended a couple camps this summer. She also likes to play tennis and volleyball. Gabi seems quite popular at school, but she has very little interest in nurturing friendships. She is content being home and is definitely a mommy’s girl. Gabi will enter the 6th grade (Middle School), which is a big step and a big change.

Luke - loves sports. He played travel basketball in the winter, baseball this summer, and has just started another season of football. At the younger age groups our community football program has a weight limit in which kids over a certain amount cannot carry the ball on offense. Luke being a big and sturdy boy has never weighed low enough to be able to carry the ball. Well this year the limit was 100 lbs. He officially weighed in at 99.2 lbs. They have him playing QB! He is excited! He’ll be a 4th grader.

Eli – I can’t help but think how blessed we are to have had Eli. When we discovered that Lisa was pregnant at the age of 45 it seemed like more than we could handle. Instead, Eli has brought such tremendous joy into our lives. You’ll get a taste of that in the remainder of the Blog. Eli is 4 and will be 5 come October.

Ok … now onto some fun. I’ve written down a few of the funny things that have been said and done the last few months. The kids do not like that their moments of embarrassment are captured and placed here for all to see, but in a few years they’ll think it is funny too.

Let’s starts with Isabella, who perpetuates the dizzy blonde stereotype. Isabella had written something for class, and she showed it to her friend. Her friend read it and said, “Bella, cantaloupe don’t prance!” Isabella answer backs, “Yes they do. You know – the deer and the cantaloupe prancing?!” “Bella, cantaloupe is a melon – not an animal!”

Eli was dressed up in the cowboy outfit his MiMi and PawPaw got him for Christmas. He was playing in my office while I was trying to work. Out of the blue he says, “E-ya howdy! I have a horse in my bottom.” He hesitates a minute then says, “ I don’t have a horse in my bottom. If I had a horse in my bottom I would explode.”

Eli walked up to me and said, “Daddy - you’re not the worst Dad in the world. I don’t want you to be the worst Dad in the world.” I’m not sure if that was a compliment, or a warning …

Eli was making karate-sounding noises and falling to the floor. I asked him what he was doing and he replied, “Fighting with myself.” I then asked who was winning. Eli replied, “I am.”

I was getting ready in the bathroom and Eli was in the bedroom changing his clothes. He walked into the bathroom without any pants on and was squeezing his private parts rather hard. I asked, “Eli what are you doing?” He responded, “Trying to pop my bubbles.”

Eli likes to climb up on the window sill of our family room and walk across the window. Lisa does not like this, as it gets finger prints on the windows. One day when Lisa was not around Eli climbs up and starts to walk across the window sill. I question him in a firm voice, “Are you allowed to do that Eli?!” Eli then says, “Sometimes when I do this and Mom doesn’t see me, she doesn’t say anything.”

Moving away from Eli for a moment …

Luke sarcastically replied to his friends, “I’m not deaf! I can see you!”

Gabi is very afraid of worms. On a rainy morning during the school year, Gabi decided she couldn’t walk to the bus as a result of the large number of worms on the driveway and road. I returned from taking Isabella to school and found Gabi still home, missed the bus – trapped by the WORMS!

Isabella was talking to her sisters and explained that two people were nocturnal twins. I interjected that they could see really well at night, and then started laughing. Bella yelled, “Don’t put that on your Blog!”

I asked Luke to check my e-mail. He answered me, “I don’t know how to check e-mail. I’m not a computerist.”

Luke was looking over my shoulder as I was filling out an on-line application for his football registration. After I answered a question Luke asked, “What does ‘NA’ mean?” I answered, “Non applicable.” Luke got bothered and exclaimed, “Hey, I’m athleticable!”

As we were having a conversation about a family acquaintance, Luke stated, "He probably doesn't go on dates because of his weight." Luke is not what you would call skinny, so I told him he better be careful or he won't get dates. He shot back at me, "Look at you - your fat." I then said, "Yeah - but I already got my girl." He hesitated, then looked at Lisa and asked, "How'd he do that?"

Speaking of Luke - he was a hero this summer! Lisa and several of the kids were at a friend’s cabin. Several of the kids were standing on the dock, including Luke and Eli. Adults were watching from afar, but no one was standing close. Eli had a life jacket in his hands, but it was not yet on. A big wind whipped up and picked-up, and blew an inter-tube that was sitting on the dock. The inter-tube flew across the dock and hit Eli … knocking him in the lake. Without hesitation, Luke jumped into the lake and grabbed Eli, pulling him back to the dock. By the time adults had arrived, Luke had already brought Eli to safety!

OK - back to Eli stories and quotes …

Eli cannot fasten his own seatbelt. Trying to encourage him to make an effort I said to him, “4 year olds can fasten their own seatbelt.” Eli replied, matter of factly, “This one can’t.”

Eli belched and then made a funny face as he swallowed. He then said, “I almost blew out.”

I told Eli, “Stop jumping on the furniture.” He replied, “I’m not. I’m jumping off.”

Eli was on the phone with Lydia who was 3-1/2 hours away in Moorhead. Eli told her, "You should come over." He was talking to her and walking around the house. He then said, "I'm gonna go upstairs. You wanna come with?"

Eli didn’t want Gabi to sit beside her in the car. She did anyway. On the way Eli had some gas. He turned to Gabi and said, “That’s why you don’t want to sit beside me. I fart.”

Eli said, “I can do what I want cause I’m little.” Lisa turned and gave him a stern look and asked, “What did you say!” He hesitated and asked, “Mom, is that a bad word?”

Speaking of bad words – Eli came up with one of his own. Out of frustration for something Luke did to him, Eli yelled, “You peanut butter penie!” I punished Eli for his anger and inappropriate name-calling, and then sent him upstairs. Once he left we all quietly burst into laughter. Eli is allergic to peanuts, so adding the “peanut” adjective must have made the name seem even worse to him!

Eli was complaining about a sore in his mouth. He was kind of whining then said, “Something is broke in here.”

As we were asking Eli to name various body parts, he was quite successful until we pointed to his forehead and asked, “What is this? Eli replied, “My upside.”

Lydia does not like Eli to pick up her little puppy (Pacey). He is just too rough and squeezes a bit too tight. One time when he was attempting to pick up the dog, Lydia said, “Eli, I told you to leave Pacey alone.” Eli was disappointed and tried to reason with Lydia. He said, “But I didn’t flop him! I didn’t throw him up and punch him! I didn’t kick him! I didn’t smash him!” Now … how can you argue with that!

Love,

JR

The Girls

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A Blonde Oil Fill

11/21/2011

1 Comment

News From the North

It’s been a long time since my last Blog. I guess I had writer’s block … or maybe it should be called blog clog!

We got our first snow of the year on Friday night. Minnesotans pride themselves in being able to drive in winter weather. We got somewhere around 3 to 4 inches and there were 442 accidents in MN. Coincidently, I remember mentioning the first November snowfall last year in this Blog, and guess what – there were over 400 accidents that came with that storm.

In my life I have driven off the road 3 times. All 3 times it was because of ice. Actually it was because I was driving too fast on ice. The first time I was a junior in high school and I went into the ditch on the way home from wrestling practice. It was a snow day – school was canceled due to bad roads, but we still had wresting practice. I drove off the road on a big curve with my monster-1968-faded-blue Bonneville. I took out two mailboxes! Some guy by the name of Joe Reisinger (he’s my brother ‘n law now!) was behind me. His sister was driving and they got a farmer to get me out of the ditch. He came down with a big John Deere tractor and didn’t bother towing me. He went down in the ditch and put his tire up against my bumper and pushed me out of the ditch. Bumpers were made a little sturdier than they are today. Later my Grandpa and I came back and put the mailboxes back up. An elderly man who lived in the house came out to make sure we did a proper job. Once we were done he said, “You too young men are good workers!” Grandpa was in his late 60’s. It’s all a matter of perspective.

The last time I drove in the ditch (a couple years ago) I was driving my entire family. It was about 35 degrees, raining and the sun was going down. I had just finished saying, “When it gets a little colder tonight, this road is going to be slick.” Less than 30 seconds later I was in the ditch, my heart pounding, and my ears ringing from my daughters all screaming as we went off the road.

Now when there’s ice … I slow down. I am a proud man … a competitive man. Do you know how hard it is for me to drive slowly when people are following behind, frustrated and impatient at my speed (or lack of)? I don’t want to be that old, slooooow person! But I have also gained wisdom – ice and speed do not mix.

I have been known to share a few gross child-rearing stories on this Blog. Well sorry, but here’s another gross child-rearing (or should I say rear-end) story. Eli (4 years old) had double-ear infections, so he was on antibiotics. Of course antibiotics can do a number on one’s stomach, and that is no different for a four year-old. The one difference is a four year-old doesn’t necessarily have the discretion of holding back on passing gas - in case its not … gas. It wasn’t! We heard very loud shouts of disgust and panic coming from upstairs. The words I heard were “diarrhea all over the floor.” I expected gross, but as I arrived to the top of the stairs it was clear that this accident was a bit more serious than an accident in his pants. Foot prints of diarrhea came down the hall and into our bedroom. I yelled for Lisa! I followed the footprints into our bedroom, which went all the way through our room and into the bathroom. I used my tracking skills to continue on and find Eli. He was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and socks. Eli was trying to remove his t-shirt as the diarrhea had escaped up his pants and into his shirt – just a little. His hands were a mess, his socks were covered. The stench was bad! I peeled off his shirt, then picked him up under his arms and held him as far away from me as I could. I carried him into the kids’ bathroom to place him in the tub. I carefully stepped around the tracks Eli had left, and Lisa had already started to clean. I turned the corner to find … “Ground Zero!” Without being too graphic (hard to believe I don’t consider this graphic already), there was a pile that had come down Eli’s pants and onto the floor. I yelled for Lisa again! I instructed one of the kids to get me a plastic trash bag. I put Eli in the tub and removed his socks. I tossed the socks into the trash bag. Not worth saving considering the cost of socks compared to the gross factor. I pulled off his pants and started to gag! The smell was awful. Lisa was gagging just outside the bathroom cleaning up “Ground Zero”. You should have seen and heard us! Both of us were gagging and doing everything not to throw-up. I pulled off his underwear and tossed them in the trash bag. I looked inside the jeans and the inside legs were literally coated all the way around in diarrhea. I rationalized, “these pants were getting a little small on him!” In the trash bag they went. Sealed up and outside! If this story sounded gross – then multiply that feeling by 100, and maybe you will understand just how gross it really was. Ugh!

Funny communication errors:

Lisa was reminding me that we needed to go to the Manda Torri basketball meeting for Isabella. I asked, “Who is Manda Torri?” Lisa looked at me confused and then smiled. “Not Manda Torri … mandatory!”

Lisa texted me and asked if I could pick up Isabella at 9:30pm. I texted back, “Where is she going to be?” Lisa text’s me “Dr Ed in Rogers”. I start thinking, who is Doctor Ed? Why is Isabella going to the doctor? It is 9:30, why would she be at the doctor’s office so late, and without Lisa? Then it occurred to me – Dr Ed actually meant - Driver’s Education! I felt stupid and confessed via text that I was wondering why Bella was going to the doctor. Lisa text’s back, “She is going with Manda Torri.”

Ok – my last funny story … and I saved the best for last!! Lisa calls me at work and asks if I have checked the oil lately; the oil warning light is on. Her Suburban burns oil and needs oil added every few weeks.

I tell her that I haven’t and she should check it.
She says, “But I haven’t taken a shower, and
    I’m in my jammies.”
“Lisa, you can’t drive if the warning light is on.
    You have to add oil.”
    Lisa agrees.
I ask her, “You know how to do it – right?”
She replies, “Yes, but remind me.”
I tell her that the dipstick has the yellow handle on it.
No – step back – start with - how to get the
    hood open?
With a little coaching she and Isabella figure out
    how to pop the hood and then pull the lever to open
    it up. They quickly discover the dipstick.
“Make sure you don’t overfill it. Ok, you have it from
here?”
Lisa hesitantly confirms that she can figure it out
    from this point.

Lisa and Isabella together check the oil and determine that they need to add a quart. Isabella goes into the store and buys a quart of oil and brings a paper funnel with her.

They study the funnel and Lisa says, “The hole
    in this funnel is too big.”
Together they try to make it work, but the funnel
    hole is bigger than the hole that the oil goes into.
Lisa goes into the store and asks for another funnel.
“The hole was too big in the first funnel you gave us.”
The guy in the store is puzzled and asks if he can
    take a look.
Lisa gladly accepts his offer, even though she is
embarrassed by her appearance.
They walk to the Suburban and look under the hood.
Lisa happily exclaims, “Oh she got it to work!”
Isabella had folded the end of the funnel and fit it
    into the opening of the dipstick and had begun to
    pour the oil down the dipstick shaft.
(If you don’t think this is funny yet – I’m guessing you
are also blonde!)
The guy smiles, and says, “The oil actually goes in
here,” and opens the oil filler port. “This should go a
lot faster! "
    Lisa and Isabella almost pee themselves with
    laughter. Isabella says, “I tried to read the container
    and see if there were instructions for blondes!”

We are now immersed into basketball! The girl’s high school season started last week, and the boys’ started today. We purchased a dry erase calendar to keep track of all our commitments. Here is an example of one evening (last Friday). Lisa takes Gabi to basketball practice at 6:00pm, drops her off, then takes Eli to the Veggie Tales Premier at church. I pick up Luke, take him to basketball practice (same location as Gabi) and drop him off. I then drive to Rogers (20 minutes) to pick up Bella from basketball. I drop Bella off at church to join Lisa and Eli. I then go to pick up Gabi. As I arrive, Luke and his team are exiting the building. They got the location of practice wrong, and they were going to the other elementary school. I got Gabi and Luke and drove them to the new practice location. I then took Gabi home. A half hour later I go back and pickup Luke. Now its time for dinner!

Even though we are busy, we are looking forward to the basketball season this year! It should be fun!

Have wonderful Thanksgiving!! We will celebrate at home with just the nine of us. Lydia will be coming home on Tuesday. Then on Friday – its Sophia’s birthday! 13 and a real teenager!

Love,
JR

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Happy Retirement!

9/27/2011

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Gabi's B-Day Cake ....... Sophia at the State 4H Horse Show!

News from the North

Here’s another edition of “News from the North”, an informative, and sometimes entertaining look into the lives of the JR and Lisa Wilson household. Here’s just a little of went on the last couple weeks.

Bella recently had basketball try-outs for an AAU team (next summer). She did well and although the results have not been formally posted, the coach has contacted us and told us that Bella made the team. This team practices a little closer to home, and there are going to be three other girls on this team that go to school with Bella. We’ll be able to carpool, which was not a possibility the last couple years. Hopefully that means less driving!

A little more Bella news - she was selected by her class as one of the four finalists for Homecoming Princess of the freshman class of Rogers High School. The final results will be announced just before the October 7th Homecoming game. The boy who Bella "likes" is one of the finalists for the freshman prince. Their fear is that one will get it, and the other won’t … then of course that means … I’m not sure what!

Although we have a bunch of blondes in our family, Bella is our blonde who seems to have the most “blonde moments”! Some days after school she rides the bus home with a friend. She just confessed to me that she was wondering why the bus kept stopping at the railroad tracks, opening its doors, and no one would get off. Who was supposed to get off at that stop?

Now on to Jake - Jake attended a Basketball Exposure Camp a couple weeks ago. It was a day intended to give boys who want to play college basketball exposure to college scouts. The camp was limited to 100 boys. There were 34 universities in attendance from 7 states. I believe they were all D-II and D-III schools. After the camp Jake felt he did well. A couple days later we saw a Tweet from the President of the basketball club stating that he felt the MVP of the camp was … Jake Wilson!

Jake is receiving mail, phone calls, voicemails, Facebook messages, etc. from schools, almost daily. It is flattering for him. Hopefully it will turn into a scholarship! Lehigh University (PA) and University of South Dakota are the most recent D-1 schools to reach out to him.

The varsity team has started fall basketball. They will play two games every Sunday afternoon in a league until the regular season begins. In addition to that, Jake is also playing varsity football – the team is 4-0!

Luke (3rd grade) is also playing football. Luke is a big, solid boy. He’s not over-weight, he is just sturdy and tall. He is one of two boys on his team that have a red stripe on their helmet, indicating that they weigh too much to be eligible to carry the football on an offensive play. On defense he is dominating. He is just bigger and stronger than most of the boys – and on top of that, he is tough and aggressive. On offense he is the center. At this age no one is allowed to hit the center once he snaps. During the first game of the season Luke would snap the ball, then go down-field and hit the same boy almost every time. This was a smaller boy, and Luke would level him every time. After the game I said something about this, telling him I didn’t think he should have kept hitting that boy. Luke told me, “The coaches told me to hike the ball then go find someone to hit. That boy was always there, so I hit him.” I didn’t know what to say, but I think that poor boy is going to join the band next year.

Last weekend was a big event for Sophia. She participated in the Minnesota State 4-H Horse Show. She qualified for the show during the county 4-H show. Thursday night through Sunday she and Lisa spent the day at the State Fairgrounds, and the nights at a nearby hotel. Sophia participated in several events throughout the weekend. The kids and I came to see her on Saturday and Sunday. She did a great job and had a lot of fun. Her final event was Western Horsemanship (I think). She placed fourth in the event out of 18 riders. That was a great finale to the weekend. It is so awesome to see Sophia on her horse. She is a natural, and definitely in her element when she is around horses.

At the horse show, Eli began to react to the dust and all that comes with a horse show. His breathing became labored, and we had to take him out of the indoor arena. At the end of the evening Lisa stayed at the nearby hotel with Sophia, Gabi and Lydia (who had come back from college to see the show), while I took the boys back home. We got home late and everyone was tired. I must admit, my patience was wearing thin. I was looking forward to putting the kids down for bed, and having some time to myself. Before putting Eli down for bed, I gave him a nebulizer treatment to help his breathing. We also have a prescription steroid to give him when his asthma gets bad. I decided to give it to him. The medicine tastes horrible, and Eli was putting up quite a fuss. It was a battle, and he had completed about 2/3rds of the medicine. I told him, “Almost done! Just take one more quick drink and we’ll be done!” Eli tips back the medicine, quickly pulls it away from his mouth, and then starts to gag. I say, “Stop that!” Eli’s eyes begin to water, then he spits up a little. I firmly tell him – “Don’t throw up!” His stomach turns and up comes the medicine and … DINNER! It goes all over Eli, the floor and the bathroom rug! I grab him and place him in front of the toilet, but the damage had been done. I stand there assessing the best way to clean up the mess. Eli turns to me with a condescending look and says, “I hold (told) you Daddy!”

If you’ve read this BLOG before, you know that Eli is always saying something cute or funny. He’s still a toddler, but wise beyond his years. Having a bunch of older siblings does that to you. Here are a few examples.

On a very nice Sunday afternoon Luke and Eli were inside the house. I told them, “You boys need to go outside and get some fresh air.” Eli replied back, “There’s air in here.” How does a three year old know to say that?!

Eli has formed a sweet friendship with LeAnne (a friend of Lisa’s). He recently told Lisa that he wanted to buy LeAnne a Christmas present from an elf.

Eli was staying at LeeAnne’s house and she was knitting a cap. Eli looked at her work and asked, “Are you making a bra like my Mommy’s?”

After being outside, Eli came in and his allergies were acting up. His eyes were watering and itching. He was complaining and whining a bit. One of the girls asked him what we did last time to make his eyes better. In a pathetic voice Eli replied, “Gave me pop, cookies and water.”

He is getting better with his colors. As I was quizzing him, he got several colors correct. Then I asked him, “What color is Gabi’s shirt?” He looked at it, then replied, “I know’d dat holor, but I lost dat holor.” (he pronounces his C’s with an H-sound).

Eli saw a couple matches that had been used to light a candle. “Why are dose firesticks dere?”

He is developing the Wilson sense of humor. Eli was getting ready for bed. He was in the bathroom and I was in the bedroom. I called into him and said, “Eli, bring me a pull-up.” He yelled back, “I don’t know where the BIG pull-ups are.”

I won’t get into the details that led up to the conversation, but Eli recently asked Lisa if her peeny got cut off!!

Eli will be turning 4 years old in a couple weeks. I love his current age, and if there was a way to freeze time, I’d do it with him! Well … enough about Eli.

We just celebrated Gabriella’s 11th birthday. It is hard to believe she is 11 years old and in 5th grade! At Gabi’s request we got her a DQ ice cream cake. Lisa bought these cute star shaped candles to place on the cake. When she got ready to put the candles on the cake, Lisa realized that the candles spelled … H-A-P-P-Y R-E-T-I-R-E-M-E-N-T!

Love,
JR

Dakota trying to take a bite out of Gabi ....... The family at Valley Fair!

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Bugs and Salamanders

9/8/2011

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Lisa and Eli on the roller coaster, JR & Lisa, Eli stuck in the gate, Family at Valley Fair (Lydia is off at college), Gabi & Sophia.

News From the North

It’s officially football season – my favorite time of year! Jake is playing for the Zimmerman High School Thunder. They had a couple scrimmages the past two weeks, and their first game was last Thursday, which they won 12-7. Luke is also playing 3rd grade football, and his first game will be on September 12th. In his grade they have a rule that anyone over 80 pounds cannot carry the ball. Luke weighs 90lbs. That disappoints him because he wanted to play quarterback this year. And … of course Saturday was the opening game for The Ohio State University! Although the team continues to struggle with those pesky NCAA violations, and the season may not be a typical TOSU year – I’m still excited to see the Scarlet and Gray take the field each Saturday.

I arrived at an event called “Meet the Thunder”, which is a kick-off for the high school football season. As I arrived, I walked up to Bill Korlath, another player’s father. He handed me a mysterious item. I took it, turned it over … to find his gift was a bumper sticker specially designed and made for me. It contained the OSU logo on each side, and in the middle it read, “Cheating Our Way to the Top Since 1870.” If you could remove friends in real life like you do on Facebook, I might have considered it. ;)

I think Eli is the most popular football fan in Zimmerman. When you arrive at the football game, you first walk in front of the student section to get to the parents’ section. As we did, the chant of “Hey Eli!” could be heard through-out the student section. Eli just gave his fans an indifferent wave.

Luke is at that age where he tries to act cool like a big kid, but he stills likes to cuddle his mom and dad. Right after football practice last week I had him sit on my lap and was cuddling him. I asked him about practice and he started to tell me a few things. Then he said “There was goose poop all over the field.” I think I said something about that being gross. Then he asked, “Do I smell like diarrhea?” I quickly pushed Luke off of me and sent him to the showers!!

When you enter the local car wash, the first thing they do is spray something on the front of your car and use a mop-looking tool to clean off the bugs. Lisa and some of the kids went to donate/get-rid-of some items at Goodwill. Goodwill has a drive-in drop off station. Lisa drove in, and the employees came out to help unload. Eli then asked, “What about the bugs?”

Lydia has been off to college for 3 weeks. She is doing well, and really liking it. She has met many new friends. She came home over Labor Day, but worked two babysitting jobs, and at Becker Furniture World both Saturday and Sunday - so we didn't see a lot of her. All the other children, except Eli, began school on Tuesday. That was a big change for Lisa to be home with only one!

Gabriella had her annual cardiologist visit last week. Everything “remains stable” are the words the doctor used. There are several things that they continue to watch (the slight leaking of the valve, the tissue growth under her valve, the flow of blood in the aorta where it was surgically widened, and the thickness of her heart). The cardiologist that has seen Gabi since they first discovered her heart defect just retired and we saw a new doctor this time. Her name is Dr. Dummer. Seriously! If she and her husband went into practice together, they could call it Dum and Dummer. Actually it is pronounced Dūmmer. And she is very nice, but seems to speak more carefully when she describes Gabi’s condition. Her previous doctor would have been very positive, because “everything is stable”, means that her heart remains in the condition it was post-surgery (which was good), and pleased the surgeon and doctors at the time. We are thankful to God that he continues to watch over Gabi!

Eli was trying to explain to me what happened to him the other night. “I wide her dooter.” “What?” “I wide her dooter!” I later find out that our friend LeAnne gave Eli a ride on her scooter.

I received some good advice from a 10 year old friend of Gabi. She told me that I should make sure to wear my shoes when I went to the bathroom on an airplane … because that isn’t water on the floor!

You might have seen the photo on Facebook, but it is worth repeating. We heard Eli crying and whining. We ignored it for little while, but the whining became more urgent and started to include a cry for help. Bella went to investigate. There was Eli, who had somehow closed the child safety gate (which is in place to keep the dog out) with his head and neck in between the bars. You might think we would run to Eli’s rescue. We probably should have run to his rescue. We did run, but for the cameras. We had three different photographers taking pictures of Eli’s predicament. He just stayed there (although he didn’t have much choice) and looked at us like – would someone please save me!

I had gone to bed. I was on my iPad and had texted Jake earlier. He texted me back and told me that we were being invaded by salamanders. He said he killed about 15 of them and saw 30 more in and around the garage. I was curious, but not enough to get out of bed. Then we heard blood curdling screams. “There’s a salamander in the basement!” I then got up and went downstairs. There sat a big fat, slimy-looking salamander on the hearth of the fireplace. As I was catching that salamander, Bella screamed the loudest scream I’ve ever heard. "There’s another one!" Then another scream, "Another one!" Earlier in the evening Jake had a bunch of friends over. It must have gotten warm, because someone opened the sliding glass door of the basement. The salamanders took the opportunity and came inside. I looked outside, and there were several salamanders outside the basement door. I then looked in the garage and they were walking around everywhere. These are big, fat salamanders about 6 to 9 inches long. We had never seen salamanders around our house before. After some research I learned that these salamanders live underground and rarely come out in numbers; only on a rainy night in the spring or fall. The next night – no salamanders. It was pretty wild!

We were in the car and I said something to Lisa.
    - Eli asked, “Daddy, what did you say?”
    - I replied, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
    - Eli then asked again, “Daddy, what did you say?”
    - I again replied, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
    - Eli says, “I was saying, ‘what did you say?’ ”
    - I then told Eli, “When I say ‘I’m not talking to you’, that
       means I’m not going to tell you what I said.”
    - Eli waits a second, then asks, “Daddy, what did you
       say?”

A few Eli quotes:

Lisa was giving Eli a bath. She was using Burt’s Bees soap. He protested. He did not want to wash with that "bug soap". Maybe they could have used that at Goodwill!

As Lisa was driving to pick-up Luke she drove past the road we typically would turn on to go home. Eli says, “We missed our level!” Funny thing, I’m not sure Isabella would even know that was the way home.

Eli was looking in the mirror and asked Lisa if his ears were getting bigger. Lisa thought he was thinking that bigger ears meant he was growing bigger, so she said his ears were getting bigger. Eli exclaimed, “Nooo! I don’t want my ears to get bigger!”

Love,
JR